Geplaatst 
NAME:
Greg Bulmash
SEX:
Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION:
Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available.
If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying
here in the first
place.
DESIRED SALARY:
$185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance
package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION:
Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD:
Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY:
Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING:
It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Any.
PREFERRED HOURS:
1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU
FROM LIFTING UP
TO 50 LBS?:
Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you
have a car that
runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house
Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?:
On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy
blonde super model
who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, I'd like to
be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE
BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?:
Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE:
Aries.
