Bellona_K schreef:Op internet kwam ik toevallig op een stuk tekst van een lange dame, die mijns inziens perfect verwoordde waarom lange vrouwen een lange man willen en het soms zo moeilijk vinden om te vallen op een kleinere man. Het is een lap tekst, maar voor mij persoonlijk - als dame van 1.83m - was het de moeite waard, ik herkende veel in het stuk:
I know I'm a woman, but I'm going to chime in here just so guys have an understanding from a tall women's perspective so that they understand that we're not just writing them off.
I'm 6'1" and everyone in my family, aside from my brother who is 6', is under 5'8'' or so. This means I was brought up with family members telling me how big I was. Not tall, but big. "You're so big!" or "You're a big girl!" So at a youngish age, I have developed a complex that I'm not just tall, I'm big. My immediate family knows it bothers me, but cousins, aunts, uncles, strangers, friends, keep saying things. And besides my mom and dad, I don't have anyone telling me that it's pretty or that it's lovely or that it's even just okay! I'm just a big girl. Okay, whatever, growing up is weird for everyone.
But then when you get to be a pre-teen/puberty age, awkwardness is amplified x50 and you're hyper aware that you're taller than 98% of the guys you go to school with. And none of them want to date you because you're just too tall. So you're the tall girl all throughout middle and high school and you probably get made fun of for it. Shrek, Jolly Green Giant, behemoth, etc. And maybe you don't get asked to prom because no one wants to go with the tall girl or because they know if you wear heels, the pictures are going to look weird, etc.
But once you get your feet wet and all settled in college, you start to feel better about it a little, but you still are aware of it and get self-conscious. It's there, and you still intimidate guys.
Then there's late college/post-college years and have kinda embraced it, but it still gets to you. For example, if you go out to a bar without a doubt, someone will say something about it. Not necessarily rude, but they point it out and remind you that it's the first thing anyone notices about you, and you remember that there are some people who will simply write you off because of it. And sometimes there's an asshole that feels the need to tell you how huge you are, or someone will make a joke about it but really it's not funny at all and just makes you feel kinda oliebol. And even now, pretty much being an adult, you still get asked if you grew when you visit family. Or, "Do you have a boyfriend yet? No? You're going to have to look in the classifieds to find a boy your height" and "Please, don't ever wear heels" or "Oh my god! How tall are you?", etc.
BUT FINALLY!! At some point in all of this, you find a guy who likes you and he says he's okay with your height and that he doesn't mind. But what about all those people who have said things to you your whole life about it? It's really difficult to write off a life time of kinda negative experience surrounding your height based on the words of one guy. Height deeply shapes your psyche and behavior, so yeah, there are definitely women who won't date guys shorter than them because they have all these experiences and memories of people saying rude things and then once they've figured out how to accept there height and like themselves, they are expected to dismiss all their insecurities for one dude who claims to like it.
TL;DR: It's not because we're shallow but because we have a lifetime of negative reinforcement telling us that BOYS DON'T LIKE TALL GIRLS.
Wow, wow, wow... Diepe indruk maakt deze tekst.
Goed, ik ben niet gepest met mijn lengte. Maar bijna al het andere is zó herkenbaar!!
Mensen die mij niet kennen vragen dan ook: "Oooh, wacht, bedoel je soms die lange?"
Overigens hebben de meeste volwassenen (niet dat het helpt) me altijd gecomplimenteerd met mijn mooie lange benen. Kon ik nooit zo waarderen, vroeg dan altijd: "Zullen we het verschil delen?" Met zo'n lekker sadistisch toontje...