sorry voor het schaduwacount.
ik wou het liever een beethe geheim houden
het is in engels,mijn eerste taal,zo kan ik me beter uitdrukken.
het is behoorlijk lang,dus als je zin heb om te lezen, ga acheruit zitten

daar komt ie
It all started off pretty awkward.
You went out with one of my best friends ,she told me to add you,( on msn ) because I should ‘‘get to know you’’ well I got to know you alright. well, things didn’t work out between you and my friend Samantha. after you guys broke up, we started talking more and more. Really soon,I started liking you more then just a friend. and it seemed like you liked me too. Our conversations started to get a little ‘ flirtatious ‘ and soon, everyday, I came online just for you.
You would be online everyday, I didn’t know if you came online just for me too. well I hoped you did. Weeks past by, and I got my boyfriend, you got your girlfriend, and the flirtatious talk we had totally stopped. Even though I had a boyfriend, I just couldn’t stop thinking about you. then everything changed after you told me, you had feelings for me. Obviously, I had feelings for you too, but I was scared. i don’t know what I was scared of, I just had this weird thought, don’t tell him how you feel, he will just hurt you, it was like my conscious told me to not get involved with him, but my heart wanted to go the other way around. Again weeks, and even months past by, we talked to each other everyday online, you would always tell me how badly you wanted me, but I still had this really strong feeling inside, like some voice kept on yelling at me, don’t tell him!! One day, I couldn’t do it anymore. I had to tell him how I felt , if I didn’t, he would just be flying around through my whole body. So I did tell you,I told you I liked you a lot. You told me that , you were really glad I told you , and that he seriously loved me a lot. Well the next way your first attack came. I couldn’t run and I couldn’t hide.
He called my friend apurva ( they’re friend too ) they were just talking about school. I would just be sitting there,listening. Then suddenly my friend said : I heard about you and sanne, im so happy for you guys. Well he supposenly told apurva that , we weren’t together, and that he had a girlfriend. Wow, I think that seriously was the first time my heart just fell apart. i didn’t want apurva to know how terribly sad I was. So I acted pretty cool, but inside it was all burning. That night I couldn’t get him out of my head, I hated him !!! I never wanted to see him again, but I knew that was a lie.
i cant get out of bed today or get you off my mind
i just cant seem to find a way to leave the love behind
i aint trippin im just missin you
ya know what im sayin ,you know what I mean.you keep me hanging on a string why do you make me cry?
i tried to give you everything but you just gave me lies
i aint tripping im just missing you
you know what im sayin you know what i mean
every now and then when im all alone
ive been wishing you would call me on the telephone
say you want me back but you never do
i feel like such a fool theres nothing i can do
im such a fool for you
( stacy oriko – stuck )
that was the thought that would go through my head every single day. One day he did
he call me, I saw his name on my phone , and I was so glad. I picked up, and he started apologizing for everything he said , he wasn’t himself , he loved me more then anything in this world .i didn’t want to forgive him, but I just had to.if I didn’t, there would be now silents in my head. The thought would just keep coming back, all the sleepless nights, all the confusing fights between my heart and my conscious. So I did forgive you. He told me he wanted to meet me, before I left to Holland. So we did. We had a great time , and I liked him even better in person then on msn and on the phone. So then I arrived in Holland, and as soon as I could go online, I would, just to talk to you. Well those days, I cared about you so much , but it seemed like you didn’t care about me that much anymore. I would do anything for you, you asked me for favors 10 times a day. I would do anything for you, because I didn’t want to loose you. From that day he started asking me for more favors, it were little favors like, can you research this for me, or can you download this song for me and send it. I did everything you said.
You don't know how much you mean to me
Whenever you down
You know that you can lean on me
No matter the situation
Boy, I'm gon' hold you down
( Jennifer lopez- hold you down)
You didn’t give me the attention I used to get. I missed hearing you say : I love you , 10 times a day. I missed you telling me why you liked me , and how special I was. But the more I talked to you, the more you started to ignore me. If I asked you why you weren’t talking, you would tell me you were talking to some other girls. From those days I knew that he wasn’t the guy I thought he was. One day he told me to add a girl,it was his ex girlfriend. She was really nice and we started talking too. Everything changed one day when she told me all the things he did to her.. She also told me, she was just like me, but we weren’t the only girls he talked to this way. she told me everything, and it amazed me !! because all the things she said about him , were exactly the same things as he did to me. From that day, I started to ignore him, and I hated him, the truth was that I still loved him a lot. I didn’t want to but I did. when he noticed I didn’t do him favors anymore, he started talking to me again. He was bitter sweet…he would compliment me on everything , and tell me sweet things all the time. He made me feel so special, and I was slowly getting addicted to it. It was like I needed someone to tell me those things. And you would think that, anyone who’d fall for him again, is just plain stupid. Well I was a big fool.
If you smoke I'll smoke too
That's how much I'm in love with you
Crazy is what crazy do
Crazy in love, I'm a crazy fool
Don't you worry about a thing baby
Cause you know you got me by a string baby
Don't you worry about a thing baby
Cause you know you got me by a string baby
( black eyed peas-don’t phunk with my heart)
and guess what, he hurt me again.
Maybe 2 or 3 times. So now I decided not to fall for it again.
From now on,I will love him, but I will do it quietly.
Even though I still love him with whole my heart, im never going to tell him.
Even thought I still think about him 24/7 im not ever going to tell him.
Even though, he’ll probably be stuck in my head until I find a new love, im not ever going to tell him.
At night I pray ,That soon your face Will fade away.
But It just wont leave me , your face will stay.
I think about you everyday. I dream about you every night.
Even when its extremely dark, no sign of any living, your love will turn on a light.
ik wou het gewoon even van me afschrijven.
dankje voor het lezen
groeten