[VER] Begin Fantasy in het Engels

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Rhendera
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[VER] Begin Fantasy in het Engels

Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst door de TopicStarter : 12-02-10 21:08

Hallo :wave:

Ik had gister weer een enorm creatieve bui, en ben weer eens begonnen aan een verhaal. Ik schrijf het liefst in het engels, kan mijzelf zo beter uit drukken, enigste punt is, mijn grammatica is altijd al belabberd geweest %)
Ik zou heel graag wat feedback ontvangen, mits opbouwend. Commentaren als ''ik kan geen engels'' heb ik niets aan 8)7
ik vind het ergens best 'eng' om het zo op het internet te gooien :=

Here we go;

Citaat:
Imagine: a very, very big forest, where no one really knows the way but you. Imagine having a very big secret that you can’t share with anyone. Except of course, the ones that have the same ‘altering’ like you have. Imagine you’d have to live two lives. I can tell you, it’s difficult. It’s hard. It’s annoying.

And then we have me. My Name is Rhendera and I’m a red haired girl, with a single black strand of hair. No I don’t dye it, it’s been like that since my birth. Good, I’m 5’’7 which makes me pretty small. I have a normal build, nothing special. People don’t like me. Or at least, most people don’t. The ones that do like me, know me on a very different level. I have no parents; they died long ago, when I was only a little toddler. The first years of my life I lived with a family here in the town, but as soon as I developed a mind of my own I was always in the woods. I could shoot better than many other archers around here, when I was eight. When I was nine, I build my own tree-house and went to live in there. I’ve been very independent all my life, and I was, and still am, very close to the forest. When I turned 12 I found out why, and thank the heavens that no one was near when I did. I was walking deep into the forest, and the sun was almost setting, when I suddenly blacked out and had the weirdest vision ever. In that vision a guy with long white hair a mustache and a very long beard told me that I was a descendant from someone called Gyrahh, and he was passing this gen onto all his descendants. You have to realize, I was only twelve back then.

When I woke up again, it was pitch-dark in the forest, and I couldn’t see oliebol out there. I might be very independent, but hell, I oliebol my pants that moment. I heard some twigs knack, and knew I had to get the hell out of there. The forest wasn’t a place to be in the middle of the night, and I might be one of the best archers in the town, but there where animals roaming this forest you wouldn’t want to meet even if you could shoot a hundred arrows a second.

I still felt drowsy from the blacking out, so running wasn’t the biggest success. After what seemed quite some time I fell down over a stupid bush, which I didn’t see cause of the darkness. When I tripped, I swore I heard more twigs breaking. I kept my breath and tried to find something to defend myself with me. Why did I always have to forget my bow when I needed it?! The steps came closer and I was actually getting pretty scared. A few seconds later an enormous wolf stepped out of the bushes, and he stared right down at me. Hell I don’t know if I’ve ever been more scared than that moment.
“Back off!!” I yelled, to the big wolf. He (or she, I really didn’t have any time to figure that out!) just glared at me with a wolfish grin. I started to crawl backwards when the wolf seemed to get even blacker, and then there was standing a man in front of me! My god I thought I’d gone crazy.
“Relax.” The man said. I guessed he was around 45years old. “I mean, relax should be pretty difficult in a situation like this, but hear me out”. I was regaining my normal attitude again and crawled up onto my two feet, armed with a stick. “You better stand back!” I yelled at him. “I don’t know who or what you are but leave me the hell alone!” The man just sat down on the ground and looked at her. “Let me explain… I am Zeorg, and I really don’t have any intention of harming you.” I glared at the guy, still armed with the stick in my hand. “I know what just happened to you. Everyone who’s like this knows. We’ve been sensing that there was someone soon to transform too.” “Now just wait a minute!” I yelled “If you’re talking about me, I didn’t transform nothing!” I was surprised he wasn’t backing off from my glare; most people thought it was dead scary when I did that. “maybe not on purpose, but you’re one of us now.”


Ik heb meer, maar wil eerst weten of iemand hier uberhaupt iets aan vind.... :Y)
nogmaals kritiek; graag, maar hou het vriendelijk? :Y)

Lontje

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Re: [VER] Begin Fantasy in het Engels

Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 13-02-10 09:41