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[verhaal] Lost in thoughts..(incompleet)
Moderators: NadjaNadja, Essie73, Muiz, Maureen95, Firelight
- Koe
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- Berichten: 426
- Geregistreerd: 30-06-02
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Geplaatst door de TopicStarter : 26-10-04 20:10
Chapter 11: Drawing
Dash’s POV:
That night Selphie and me had a lot of fun, we were supposed to sleep that night but we constantly ended up in a pillow fight which meant that you wouldn’t sleep for a while. Without even knowing it already became morning but we both didn’t feel tired at all. Selphie now stood up, even now she wore a black pyjama but to be honest it suited her really good. She walked to the window and looked outside “he! the sun is coming up!” what? “That must mean it’s morning already!” Selphie now sat down on the bed next to me. With her right hand she scratched at the back of her head. “Hannah is going to kill me if she figured it out” I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her backwards so that she would have to lie down. With a little scream she now lay on top of me, a bit wrestling to get loose. I just turned myself around so that had to lie next to me. “Why would she get mad then?” Selphie now gave up her wrestling “she is just worried about me, just say that I’ve done some weird things in the past and now she keeps a close eye on me” I smiled, with my hand I stroke through her hair but still held her close to me. I just couldn’t believe it. Here I was with the most weirdest girl ever, though one of the prettiest as well. Without those gothic dresses and tons of make up she might be loved by lots of people. I felt so really happy and my heart bumped faster when I thought about this, over and over. Till my sleep took over and I fell asleep.
I was still sleeping until I suddenly felt something moving next to me, I opened my eyes and saw a big black shadow, but when I looked better I saw that it was actually Selphie who was laying next to me. She was still sleeping. Without waking her up I sat up straight and looked at her. No one would have ever thought about it that she was mentally different. She looked so tough from the outside unreachable for many people. And it took me a few days. I stretched myself, gave Selphie a soft kiss which made her move a little but didn’t woke her up and then I walked to the bathroom to get a shower.
When I was dressing myself in the bathroom I heard Selphie a talking. “O no! I forgot to wash my make up off! Dammit. It must be over my entire face by now!” I couldn’t help myself and started to laugh. When I was dressed I walked to my room, I knocked on the door first and heard her saying that I could come in. I looked at Selphie now and laughed again. “Yeah you laugh! Got any mirror here?” on her right side, which I couldn’t see before because she was sleeping on it, was now pretty much covered with black because at that side she had made a little gothic kind of painting. Don’t exactly know how they are called. “It’s not that bad!” No way she is going to believe this! “Don’t lie to me! I hate it when people are lying to me!” I fouled my arms around her. “I didn’t lie to you… you are always beautiful!”
Later that day we went to Selphie’s home. Hannah wasn’t there so that meant that she was working again. But it didn’t matter to us because that meant we had the whole house for ourselves. We both sat down on her bed in her really dark room, while I was in that room some questions came up with me “are you really gothic? Or do you just like the clothes?” Selphie smiled when she lay in my arms “I’m not really gothic, I’m more.. Wicca.. But you can also say that I’m both plus the fact that I indeed like the clothing” “so what’s Wicca? I’ve never heard of it” she smiled again. “You know, you could say Dean was a bit right. Another word for Wicca is witch only it’s a bit nicer comparing with the past of witches though it’s a bit different. Yes we have got spells and potions but we can’t really cast them on people. Most of my spells were meant to make me happy, or just for some luck so it’s no biggie.” I kissed Selphie for a long time before I continued asking her about this. I was quite interested because I never really knew something about this and Selphie felt good talking about this. “So do you make your own spells? Or can you find them somewhere?” Selphie laughed while she kissed me again. She stood up and searched something in her closet. After a short while of digging she came back with a big an old looking book with some strange patterns on the front. “This is called the book of shadows, it helps witches.. So this is pretty much my book with spells” I looked through the pages which were old and it kind of smells. But it was really interesting, it was written in the old English and quite hard to read. “This an old version! I got it from my mother, she was a Wicca as well.” “Well I don’t know really what to say because I don’t know what everything means but it sure looks interesting and it really looks like witchcraft to me.” Selphie stood in front of me while I saw the trashcan standing behind here and the drawing inside still sticking out. “I think your trashcan is a bit full!” she looked back and saw the drawing “ow, it’s just an drawing that I once wanted to make.. But I never finished it..” she wanted to kiss me again but I pushed her away. I wanted to see her drawing so I stood up and pulled the drawing out of the trashcan. Selphie tried to stop me saying that it was nothing and that made me more curious about it. When I unfold the crumbled paper I saw an almost finished drawing from me and it looked so.. Real! “You’ve drawn this?” Selphie nodded, and I could see that she felt uncomfortable by this. It was such a beautiful drawing and it really looked like it was just a photograph “why didn’t you finish it?” “Well at first I just felt like drawing you.. And then you had that big fight.. I didn’t want it anymore” I stuck out the paper ant her, which clearly confused her “you should finish it!” “But it’s all crumpled and…” “That doesn’t matter! I want it” I kissed her again and a smile appeared on her face again. “Please!”
- Koe
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Geplaatst door de TopicStarter : 28-10-04 20:20
Selphie’s POV:
I was a bit stunned when Dash asked me to finish the drawing. Why would he need it? It’s all crumbled and ruined and I just made it because back then I felt a need to draw it. Though I must say that it’s one of my best drawings. I said that I would finish it sometime when I had the time for it. Dash looked a bit disappointed but also a bit satisfied that I didn’t said no.
Later that day we were sitting together on my favourite spot and the place where our love finally became real. Dash still had troubles climbing that boulder but at least it wasn’t raining today so he didn’t slept away so much as last time. Dash fouled his arms around me and together we watched the sunset and all the people who were like little dots on the streets. A little bit lost in thoughts I looked at the view until I suddenly felt something in my ear. I pulled my head away as quickly possible and Dash started to laugh with is left hand still up in the sky. “Did you just stuck your finger in my ear?” Dash had a gigantic grin on his face “yep” why did he do that? Full of disbelief I continued asking “why?” Dash couldn’t stop laughing but still tried to explain it to me. “It’s no big deal, you were so far away in your thoughts that you even didn’t hear me talking. So I decided to do something to get your attention.. And I got it now” but why my ear? I shook my head which made Dash even laugh harder. “It’s nothing, just a little joke okay!” He gave me a sweet kiss, which made everything up. But I still didn’t understand why he stuck his finger in my ear.
The next day school began again, and luckily for us our classes began with misses Woodfire. Dash came in to late again but this time misses Woodfire didn’t say a word about it, she didn’t even look at Dash she just.. Ignored him. Dash sat next to me looking a bit confused of not getting any words from her thrown at him. I raised my shoulders to show him that I didn’t know what was going on as well. Misses Woodfire looked like a whole new person. She didn’t react on any jokes; she just ignored the people who made them. But the nerds from our class got all her attention and it even looked like she was only teaching them and not the rest of the class. Dean looked confused as well. In the break we all sat down at our beloved table and talked about misses Woodfire’s teaching. “It looked like she didn’t even saw that we were there!” Dean, Dash, some other friends and I were sitting together and all nodded about this little fact. We all had class from her today and all experienced the same. “Maybe she is still shocked about the last time, you know when she ran off?” I was silent the whole discussion only now I answered as well “that would be a logical explanation though I think that there is something more as well. Ow and Dash before I forget..” I grabbed my bag and after a little wrestling with some books and other stuff I pulled out a piece of paper, which was a bit fouled. Dash opened it and smiled “you finished it!” I nodded and smiled as well until Dean grabbed the paper from Dash’s hand with an evil grin on his face “what’s this? Love letters” when he looked at the drawing his face changed “wow, you draw this?” I nodded again. “This is really good! You should open a little shop or something like that and make people pay for their drawings! You could make a fortune!” I just smiled but didn’t react on Dean’s suggestion. A few minutes later the bell rang again and we all went back to our classes.
In the middle of the class my mobile suddenly started to ring. I quickly grabbed the phone and looked who was calling me and I saw that it was Hannah. The teacher said that I had to shut the phone off so that he could continue with teaching. But I took the phone with me and walked out of the class. Hannah would never call me unless it was really important, and especially if she called while I was on school. The teacher a bit stunned and angry about me just walking out of the class started to shout that if I left the class room that I didn’t have to get back to his classes, so I took my bag along and went away which made the teacher standing with his mouth wide open. “Hello” “hey, with Hannah… I’m sorry if I disturbed your lesson but I thought this was important. But it would be a lot better if you came home so that I can explain it to you” I was confused about this, in Hannah’s voice I heard that she was sad and a bit scared “is something wrong?” “No, not exactly.. Just come home and I’ll explain it to you” “okay.. See you soon” What was that all about? Hannah never was that cryptic unless there would happen something that I wouldn’t like at all. I quickly send and text message to dash telling him that I had to come home very quickly and that I would talk to him later. Then I went to the bus stop and waited for the bus to arrive.
. 
- Koe
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Geplaatst door de TopicStarter : 30-10-04 19:05
Chapter 12: Monster
Dash’s POV:
That afternoon I tried to call Selphie many times but she wouldn’t pick up her phone “why won’t she pick up her phone?” Dean who first hated Selphie but now has become a friend of her was quite worried as well. “She said that she would call you, perhaps she needs some time” “Yes I know.. But she could at least pick up the phone and say that now wasn’t the right time to call her. I’ve got that nasty feeling that there is something wrong …I can’t really describe it”
Dean and I walked back to my home because Dean decided to keep me some company while waiting for a call. Dean didn’t said it but I knew that he felt the same as me… we were both worried. There was something wrong. When I saw Selphie’s face in class she looks a bit shocked when Hannah called she said she had to go and that it was urgent but she didn’t tell me the reason and that was quite disturbing.
Even my mother noticed that there was something wrong “what’s with the long faces? It looks like you are going to a funeral or something like that. .. I know, why don’t you two take a piece of the pie I just bought.” I looked up at my mother a bit confused. “I thought that pie was for tomorrow, for grandma’s birthday?” she sighted “I know, but one little piece is okay, you guys should smile instead of sitting here with long faces.. What’s wrong anyway?” Dean and I looked at each other “it’s Selphie, she had to go away because it was urgent but now she doesn’t respond on any calls and that on the day that we were planning to do something together, you know hanging out!” My mother shook her head obviously she didn’t get our point but than after all she didn’t knew Selphie that good as we did. We sat together in class for quite a while now and we got to know Selphie’s moods and how she thinks though she still surprises us sometimes.
It was already 10 pm and we still haven’t heard a thing from Selphie. Dean was still at my place to keep me company, he even called his mother that he would sleep her for the night with the excuse that we had to study and make something together for school or else his mother would totally freak out. Dean and I were just playing some stupid game but we had a lot of fun with a couple of beers with us. When I was about to loose from Dean which was a miracle because Dean sucked at games I heard a soft tone coming from my pocket. “My phone!” I grabbed my cell phone and read that it was Selphie who was calling me. I saw that dean sat on the edge of his seat while I picked up the phone. I wonder what happened, perhaps there was nothing wrong. “Hey” at the other side I heard her voice. It was really soft but emotionless which made me worry even more. “Everything okay?” I wanted to say something nice and something that comfort her but this was the only thing that I got out of me. With the same voice she answered “not really..” not really? So I was right! “Why not? Is there something with Hannah or anyone else?” this was not the question where she had prepared for and I heard her sniffing and even her voice got different. I could almost hear her pain. Dean, who was listening with us, got worried as well and kept asking me what she said. “It’s hard to tell..” what’s hard to tell? “What? You know you can tell me! I’ll be always there for you” “I know… It’s.. My father, is pronounced normal and I..” I almost forget to breath, I haven’t expected this. I knew what she wanted to tell me. She had to go back to her father, the one who she always considered as a monster …a murderer. “I’ve to go back to him!” I heard her crying on the phone and then our connection got a bit bad so I quickly explained the situation to Dean who was still waiting for some answers because I looked quite shocked when I heard it. “Hey, it’s okay.. Perhaps he’s really changed.. And I’ll always be there for you.. It won’t be that bad.. I promise! And if things go wrong I’ll bet you can always come back to Hannah.” Selphie was still crying on the phone “I don’t want to go Dash, I’m frightened.. What if he hasn’t changed? What if he just pretended to be normal, I don’t want to go”
I almost sat the whole evening on the phone talking to Selphie and trying to comfort her, dean helped as well, sometimes he grabbed the phone and even made some stupid joke, which made Selphie laugh for a moment and forget about her problem. I hung up the phone when she wanted to catch some sleep because this would be her last night with Hannah and she wanted to spend it with her for the last time. Dean was now informing Anouk about her troubles because Selphie asked him to do because she didn’t had the time for it and the fact that she didn’t want to cry again. Later that night I spoke with Dean about this and together we tried to find some ways to make Selphie happy again but we couldn’t find any.. All we knew was that we had to be there for her.
- Koe
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Geplaatst door de TopicStarter : 07-11-04 17:10
Selphie’s POV
“ Selphie, please sit down… this is important. This isn’t my decision but… your father is declared normal so you’ll have to get back to him… if I could I would keep you here but I can’t!” these words rushed through my head the whole evening. At first I couldn’t believe it when she told me but when I saw that serious face of Hannah I knew that she wasn’t joking though I hoped that she was joking.
It will happen tomorrow, after school, my father would pick me up and bring me to his new home. They said that they will monitor him but I doubt it.. I ran upstairs when Hannah tried to comfort me, I didn’t want to hear it! She has ruined my life, she just let me go without a fight, and I didn’t want to go.. Not now.. Not ever! I locked my door and sat on my bed. I couldn’t stop the tears rolling down my face. Why did these things happen to me! every time that I had something nice or when things went well, something bad had to happen. Somehow deep inside I knew that he hasn’t changed.. I saw every bad thing that my father has done to me and my mother and I could feel the pain deep inside.
My thoughts went to Dash; this would mean I had to leave him. I phoned him because I knew he was dying to know what was the reason. Phoning him must have been one of the hardest things that I’ve done. I heard his sweet voice, which tried to comfort me, but it didn’t help. I heard Dean on the backgrounds helping Dash with finding the words and that made me even cry harder. I would have to leave all of my new made friends all because of my father.
Suddenly my anger got to me. I wouldn’t let this happen not now not ever! At first I grabbed everything that was in my reach on the ground until I saw my window standing open and the wind blowing threw it. Then I threw everything what could be thrown, out of my window. “I hate you, I hate you!” I kept screaming this the whole time while I was throwing things out of the window. I didn’t even hear Hannah trying to open the door with the spare-key. I was blind, deaf and full of anger, I was in my own little world. In my head I saw what was going to happen to me, what pain I would have and it frightened me. “Leave me alone, I don’t want to go, I hate him!” I kept throwing stuff out of my window, clothes, books, and trashcan! Just everything.
I grabbed the stereo and walked through the window to throw that thing away when suddenly two hands grabbed me and pulled me back. I saw Hannah, worried but also very angry. She pulled the stereo out of my hands and threw it on the bed. “Are you crazy! I know that you are angry but this is going way to far! Do you hear me?” I didn’t even listen to her, I wanted to be free so I started to hit everything around me just to get loose and so I even hit Hannah really hard! Hannah fell on the ground and I just continued what I was doing before Hannah came in. I grabbed the stereo and threw it out of the window. I looked down on the pile of all my belongings, which were now trashed on the floor. The only things left in my room was my bed, my desk and the photograph of my mother. I looked at it and then I even threw the photograph out of the window. Hannah who I hit to the ground saw what I just did and now understood that this was one of my rare attacks. I had this a couple times before but it was never as bad as this one. Normally she could get to me and calm me down but now she didn’t even came through.
She quickly stood up and ran to her room to get something that she hasn’t needed before. She quickly ran back and her mouth almost fell open. I was now standing in the opening of the window. The only thing left to throw out of the window was me.. Many people, neighbours went outside and looked at what was happening at the doctor’s house. I looked at the pile and my feelings about jumping got stronger. The ground called for me, I could hear, feel or see a thing…somehow I felt the need to jump. The wind blew to my hair when I slowly walked to the edge. I always have called in Hannah’s home and that she lived in a house but it actually was an apartment where we lived in and I wanted to jump down from the fourth floor. This would be it, the end of my life. I knew that I had promised it to everyone but I could think anymore. I went crazy. I didn’t want it and I have only promised it because it was pretty sure that I wouldn’t have to get back to him. One last thought about Dash, I saw his face, his smile and I could almost feel him. That memory became my last teardrop, and as it role down my face I let my hands go and leant forward..
- Koe
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Geplaatst door de TopicStarter : 11-11-04 16:16
Chapter 13: Lost
Dash’s POV:
“Hey sleepy heads! It’s time to wake up!..” Dash’s mother made the door open of Dash’s room and saw us two still sleeping though she has shouted many times to us that we should get out of bed. She shook her head “they must have been awake the whole night” she walked over to my bed and shook me awake “time to get up!” I opened my eyes and saw my mother looking a bit worried about me. At first I was a bit confused then I saw Dean lying on the bed next to me and remembered that we had been awake for almost the whole night. “Get dressed, eat something and go straight to school, I’ll write you a note for the teachers why you two are so late..” my mother tried to get her way back to the door but when she stepped over Dean, dean suddenly turned around so that she actually tripped over him. Dean got almost pulled out of his bed and immediately woke up. Me at the other hand was laughing my ass off because it really looked funny to see my mother looking with a confused look about what just happened. And the confused sleepy face of Dean didn’t help at all.
I told the story to Dean who started laughing as well then my mother went downstairs to write the note for us and we started to dress ourselves. “I’m dead tired!” “I know, me too..” it took us quite a while to get dressed because all of our clothes were spread all over the place because we held some kind of a pillow fight, only we didn’t had enough pillows so we used clothing instead.
After a short while we ran towards school we both didn’t know why we were running. Probably the fact that we both wanted to see her as quick as possible. We didn’t say a word to each other until we reached our school. We quickly gave the note to the teacher when we entered the class and sat down at the two tables that were still free. We both looked around though we didn’t saw what we were looking for. Why isn’t she here? Did something bad happen to her? A bad feeling came up and made me feel sick. What if something has happened to her?
Apparently I got all white in the face because suddenly everyone started to ask me if I was feeling right. I looked at Dean who looked worried as well but this time he was worried about me. With a stumbling voice I quickly said that I felt al right
At my break, Dean and I were having our lunch and talked about Selphie with all the others and informed them what has happened these days. Some heavily discussion went on because there were still a few people who didn’t like her at all. But most of our friends got our point and even tried to comfort us both.
Then I felt a hand resting on my shoulder. I looked back and saw a not happy looking Anouk standing there. “Hey? What brings you here?” “Actually I came here to bring some news to you… it’s about Selphie” everyone at our table now became quiet because they were all curious. Some other people looked at our table because this was normally one of the loudest tables in school. “This is hard top explain to you.. But let’s start at the beginning. Lat night.. She kind of freaked out, I don’t know what exactly has happened there but there is a gigantic pile of stuff lying in front of the flat. And later on she even wanted to jump out of the window.” My breath stocked when I heard this, all kind of images of Selphie and a window came up in my mind but I got myself together again and continued listening to Anouk. “Hannah said that she wasn’t herself there, she was just to frightened to listen to her. Hannah and Selphie had quite the battle because when I saw Hannah she had all kind of scratches on her hand and face. Though Hannah made sure she didn’t lose her out of sight Selphie managed to get out and run away… she has erased all her phone numbers and messages on her phone and didn’t bring it along so we can’t reach her. .. They don’t know where she could be, but they are looking for her all over the places because they are afraid that she might… you know. Anyway my number stood on a paper so Hannah found it and called me if Selphie was there but I haven’t seen her as well. Then she told me that I should tell you all so that if you might have an idea you could tell her.” A big silent remained at our tables because everybody felt quite down. They all knew that she had some big troubles but this big? And especially now that she has become a friend… I thought back at my time together with her. How happy we both were, I could even see her smiling. And how we first got together after such a long period.. In her secret hideout in the park… “The park!” everybody looked at me. It was Dean who answered, “what’s with the park?” I quickly stood up and informed the rest of the table “Dean, tell the teachers, I know her.. Place...” though I said it on a really weird way Dean understood immediately what I was trying to say and nodded. I quickly ran out the school through the streets.
After a while I got out of breath but I didn’t slow down, I had to find her. In myself I prayed that she wasn’t dead already and off course the fact that she was there. I saw the contour of the park and I made me smile for a second. It didn’t took me long to find the secret entrance and the big boulder. On that boulder I saw Selphie standing there, still in her pyjama and with the all-familiar knife in her hand. On her arms and legs I saw big scratches but they didn’t seem to be really bad. “Selphie…” my voice was soft but loud enough for her to her it, she slowly turned her head into my direction and I saw that her make up ran out because of her many tears. It gave me goose bumps but I had to be strong for her. She had to know that she wasn’t alone on this world. I saw that her hand shook like hell, and when I looked into her eyes I saw fear and anger. With a soft voice she spoke to me “Go away” “I can’t… Don’t do it..” “He won’t have me.. If this is the only way to save me from him..” I climbed on the boulder which was still pretty hard for me, Selphie took a few steps back because she didn’t wanted me to come nearer. “This is not the only way, he will win if you do this you know! He wants you to suffer, he likes that and you are making it worse like this. You have to be strong, just hang on because if it goes wrong again you’ll be free forever…then nobody can tell you what to do!” Selphie shook her head wildly, she knew that I was right but she wouldn’t listen, like she was a little child. I took a step closer to her but then her hand with the knife now pointed at me, which frightened me a bit. I never have seen her like that. If I just knew what was going in her mind then it would be a lot easier to help her.
Now almost screaming she told me to go “Go away! Away, away, away…”
- Koe
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Geplaatst door de TopicStarter : 12-11-04 19:33
Selphie’s POV:
Í didn’t know what I was doing; I pointed my knife at the one that I trusted at most. Why was I doing this? Was it really worth giving up this life and ruin an other one’s? I tried to get to my senses but every time that I tried the fear took over again. I didn’t want it but I had to do it. I screamed that he had to go because I didn’t want him to be here. Why can’t I just do it? Is he that important for me? While I pointed my knife at him I thought back what happened to me the last day.
While I stood there in the window, I couldn’t think reasonable. I only cared for dying and if Hannah didn’t pulled me back on time I probably died as well. I hated her, she supposed to be there for me and she just prevented me from my actions. I started hitting and scratching around but Hannah didn’t lose her grip this time though I must have hurt her like hell. On her hands there were some big red and bloody stripes and even on her face I saw that I scratched her so badly that she started to bleed but I didn’t care at all, I just wanted to be free. While I was starting Hannah I suddenly felt a sting in my upper arm, I wanted to continue my fight but it felt like my strength was leaving me and after a few seconds everything became weak and I fell on the floor. I looked at Hannah who looked a bit frightened but she was tired as well, in her eyes I could see that she didn’t want to do this but somehow I knew this was her only choice, she didn’t want me to leave because she cared about me. Then it became black before my eyes.
I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was the other side of the couch, my body still felt weak but I forced myself to sit up straight. Then I remembered what has happened to me and that I felt a sharp sting before I lust conscious. “I’m sorry but I had no choice” I turned around and I saw a sad and now a bit old looking Hannah standing there. I quickly turned my head away; she had no right to do that! That whole night Hannah kept watching me, she didn’t leaf me out of her sight one single second. When I needed to go to the bathroom she even waited at the door. Somehow I understood but it really annoyed me as well. She just doesn’t get the point. It’s not that I want to do it; I just need to do it.
The phone rang a little while later and Hannah lost me out of sight for a few seconds but that was enough to take my change. I ran to the door, opened it and just ran as fast as I could through the streets. I knew a place were nobody could find me but I didn’t thought at Dash who had found me there before. I heard Hannah screaming and swearing but I kept running, I ran through streets where some people haven’t heard of their existence and then I arrived here.
Dash look with his beautiful eyes deeply into mine, what was he trying to do? Why doesn’t he move and take away my knife? What is he waiting for? Dash and I stood for quite a while in front of each other and but Dash just stared at me. I can’t take this any longer, I closed my eyes and brought my knife up in the air so that I could drive it through my heart but then some strong hand ripped the knife out of my hands and threw it away. I felt some around my body and I felt that I got pressed against his body. Confused, surprised, relieved and most of all angry with him I felt his warm presence and his heart beatings going further. I wanted to get loose but my body didn’t responded. Why was his grip on me so strong?
My tears came up and I started crying though not quite sure why I was crying. I just felt his warmth, his love around me. He pushed me a bit away from him and with his hand he gently wiped away most of my tears, then he started to kiss me. We both didn’t said a word to each other but this gesture meant a lot more to me than some people might realise, he showed that he cared about me and that he was there for me. I needed that and I now realised why I was hesitating the whole time, and why it was that hard for me to just jump or kill myself. I finally found what I was looking for and I was not ready to give that up.
Slowly I felt that I got stronger, I got myself back. There was no more a sign from the little lost girl because this little girl just grew to a young woman. I would face my fears because now I realised that I had something what I hadn’t have had before and something what my father wouldn’t be able to beat. .. It was love..
Dash and I sat down on the boulder and now when I looked into his face I saw that there were tears on his face as well, it made me cry again. Why didn’t I see it before?.. this question kept going through my mind while Dash and I kept kissing each other for a long while. Here in his arms I felt save. Though after a few hours I started to shiver “got it cold?” he asked with such a sweet voice. I was still walking in my thin pyjama and sat still bur quite a while. I nodded. Dash stood up and pulled me up as well “lets get home, okay…they must be worried sick about you..” I nodded again because I just couldn’t find the words.
- Koe
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- Woonplaats: lelystad
Geplaatst door de TopicStarter : 20-11-04 19:33
Chapter 14: Confessions
Dash’s POV:
Was I being selfish? That was the question where I kept thinking about it. I stopped Selphie and made sure that she would stay here and be happy for me and for others but… Was I being Selfish? What if she isn’t happy right now because I let her stay? What if she hates me right now?
Suddenly I heard someone knocking on my door “come in” my mother came in and sat on the edge of my bed and looked at me. “What’s wrong? You aren’t yourself lately and I’m starting to worry about you? And what’s with Selphie? Because when I look at you I think there is more than you tell me what’s wrong” I sighted, would she get it? Would I tell her everything? My feelings or just some more lies? Then I remembered what Selphie once said to me “Don’t lie, or you will live in lies forever not being able to speak the truth again” at first I thought that it was just one of those crazy thoughts of her but now it all made sense. “It’s Selphie, I’m just worried about her, I want to help her but I just don’t know how..” my mother looked confused at me, I sighted again and explained the whole story to her about Selphie. “Selphie is not really.. Normal, she has had some bad things in her past. Her father beat her, her mother died when she was still young, and more troubles. Later on when her father was caught she went to Hannah who has temporarily adopted her but now she will have to get back to her father and she thinks that she will get beaten again and that the past will repeat itself.” My mother laid her hand on my leg to say that she understood what I was saying, “she tried to kill herself…” “What?” with an empty look I stared at the ceiling, I didn’t want to look at my mother. “This afternoon, I reached her just on time and stopped her..” “And now? How is she?” I raised my shoulders “I brought her back to Hannah, she will go to her father tonight.” My mother sighted then she showed a smile on her face “why do you always pick out girls who have got something special? One is gay! Other is suicidal.. Everything will be fine, I’m pretty sure that she’ll get all the protection that she needs and the only thing what you’ll have o do is be there for here and that means that you’ll have to be the boy where she fell in love with and not this.. Mess!” I smiled, somehow my mother could turn every bad thing in something positive and the worst thing was... she was always right.
For the fist time in days I slept like a little baby. When I walked to school with my breakfast still in my hands I met Dean on the road. I smiled at him “so you are late as well” Dean grinned, “Misses Woodfire won’t enjoy it.” “Well she will have to get used to it and by the way, the last time she ran out of the classroom” “Yeah though I still wonder why, because after that she kept teaching us so it wasn’t just us” I stopped with walking and looked at dean who now stopped walking as well “How about we are going to do something we used to do? We used to be the clowns in school but lately we are all being good..” The grin on Dean’s face became bigger “I thought that you would never say this!” we both laughed about it and quickly made some small idea’s what we could do to get our reputation as the clowns of the school back. The time on my watch brought me back to senses. “fiets, now we are really late”
After ten minutes we opened the door of the classroom and misses Woodfire looked on her watch “you two are late!” I couldn’t help myself and before I even realised what I was saying it already was out of my mouth “we aren’t late, this school just starts too early” the whole class laughed about it and I even heard Dean choking behind me. “I see that you got your humour back. But I don’t! Why don’t you go see the headmaster and tell him your excuse why you are too late on school and for you Dean! You follow his path. Dean saluted misses Woodfire like it was a compliment from a boss in the army. Which resulted that the class burst out in laughing again. Misses Woodfire turned all red again. As I opened the door to go to the headmaster I spoke to Dean “she said that she didn’t got her humour back but.. Tomato’s don’t have got humour do they?” the whole class laughed again and before I closed the door I looked around in the class. At the familiar table I saw her sitting, smiling and she looked all fine. I smiled because she was all right now, for now at least.
When we both walked into the headmaster’s room he sighted. “I thought that you two have changed but.. There is no hope for you guys! We both laughed. In the past Dean and I often visited the headmaster because the teachers got enough of us. And to be honest we never really got some big punishments. Our headmaster was just a fantastic guy who could see the humour in some things. “Let me guess.. Too late, misses Woodfire… and stupid answers” we both nodded while we stood side on side in the middle of the room waiting for our punishment. “Normally I won’t really mind these little jokes and you all know what will happen when you are too late. But I would appreciate it if you won’t make these silly answers in misses Woodfire’s class.” The headmaster paused for a moment and then he continued his story. “You see, misses Woodfire have got some problems which are private but that’s the main reason why she gets angry that easily. But most of all she got a lot of stress and when two boys are making fun of her…” Dean who serious was offended by this answered “but she is the best target! No one gets as red as her!” I couldn’t help it and laughed about it and when I looked at the headmaster he shook his head but I also could see that he had some troubles holding his laugh inside “Go away! And remember this for next time okay!” we smiled and walked away. “So are we going to so what he says?” “We haven’t got a choice have we? And by the way there are many more targets and too be honest, we have spared the nerds of our class to long!” we made some more plans and walked back to our class.
- Koe
-
- Berichten: 426
- Geregistreerd: 30-06-02
- Woonplaats: lelystad
Geplaatst door de TopicStarter : 24-11-04 16:17
Selphie’s POV:
That evening my father picked me up. He looked different than what I remembered of him or maybe that’s because he got older. I looked at the room and grieved it into my memory. I would miss this room a lot. I said goodbye to Hannah though I promised her that I would visit her.. Often! We walked to his car, which he had parked in front of Hannah’s house. He picked up my bags with my belongings or at least what was left of it and put them in the trunk. I was silent the whole time in contrary to my father who was chatting my ears off. This wasn’t my father! That was for sure. Even in the car he kept talking and he kept asking me things. I didn’t answer any of his questions and when it became quiet for a while he started talking again. “You are angry with me…. I guess I deserve that. I wish that I could make it up but.. I only want to say that I’m sorry about what I’ve done. I didn’t realise that.. Well some people helped me out, they showed me what I’ve done and I’m so sorry!” I looked out of the window sill don’t saying a word to him. He was lying! People don’t change! Especially not the people like you! My father must have realised that I didn’t talk to him because he turned on the radio. I heard the song in the shadows of my favourite band. I like the songs what they wrote.. It somehow helped me out. My head was banging along on the music and my father must have seen it because he asked: “Do you like this music?” I looked at him and nodded and looked through the window again.
We have arrived at his house, and it was pretty close Dash’s house, which gave me a safe feeling. If something would happen than I knew where to go…
Right now I’m sitting in my new room. Thinking about what just happened. I never expected him to be like this but he seemed really changed.. Though I won’t trust him.. Yet. I redecorated my room though it was still empty because most of my belongings got smashed to the ground when I threw them out of the window. Why did I do that? My father gave me some money to go shopping because I didn’t even have enough clothes. Perhaps I should ask Anouk to come along. Just a little girl’s night out and I could get to know her better as well. Not long after I made my mind up I fell asleep dreaming of Dash and I together. We were on a holiday and there weren’t any problems it was like a fairytale.
When I woke up I couldn’t really remember where I was but after a few seconds it all came back. I walked to my window and opened the curtains and looked at the empty street. This was the beginning of a new life that was what I knew. The empty street, the darkness, and the moonlight gave me a nice feeling. Then I walked to my closet grabbed some clothes which were spared from last night and got dressed. I walked down where I saw my father standing in the kitchen making breakfast. I was a bit shocked when I saw him. First of all he never really was a morning person, second he didn’t cook, and third he never whistled while cooking!! “Hi darling! I thought that I could make you some breakfast? So are you hungry? I hope you are because I was baking an egg for you.” I showed up a smile though it was more a smile of that I didn’t really knew what to do “thanks” My father turned around and gave me my egg and I started eating. My father started another conversation though I kept quiet for most of the time. When it was eight o' clock I had to leave “I’m leaving, I’ll see you tonight because I’m shopping so I will eat something in the city. “Be save!” he shouted after me. He has never said that to me before and somehow it scared me but it also made me feel comfortable. It all confused me “I’ll talk to Dash about this” and I kept walking to school. It was weird that I now lived that close to school but it was also nice.
While I was walking I send a text message to Anouk asking her if she wanted to come with me and go shopping.
Scholl itself wasn’t that bad at all, actually it was quite funny. Dash and Dean were having a blast with misses Woodfire again and the headmaster didn’t even do something about it!
- Koe
-
- Berichten: 426
- Geregistreerd: 30-06-02
- Woonplaats: lelystad
Geplaatst door de TopicStarter : 01-12-04 17:18
Chapter 15: Cake
Dash’s POV:
“You haven’t told me how it was?” “How what was?” “You know.. With your old man?” “Ohh” we sat on our secret spot, on the boulder. I had wrapped my arms around Selphie. She made herself loose from me and looked at me “It wasn’t that bad, I guess. It is just so weird.. I mean.. He keeps talking to me!!!” I made a shocked face “o no!!… The man talked!!!” Selphie laughed and hit my arm “stop it!.. I guess you all were right!” an evil grin appeared on my face, and with an ironic tone I said: “so what did he do next? He bake you an cake?” “DASH!!!” I started laughing, while Selphie tried to give me a couple punches. I grabbed her hands so that she couldn’t do a thing. At first she struggled trying to get loose when she noticed that she couldn’t, she tried to find all kinds of other ways like putting a shoe in my face! “Hey! That’s cheating!!” “I know! Girls supposed to be the meenies! They say if you are not strong you just have to be smart!” just on that moment she put her knee in my stomach which hurt so I let her go then she started to punch me again! “Don’t tease me!! Say mercy!!” I tried to get her off me by tickling her but she didn’t respond on it so I guess she can stand tickling. The punches started top hurt after a while so I screamed “Mercy!! Spare me!! O evil queen!” Selphie laughed “evil queen?” I got up and looked at the bit confused Selphie “well with those kind of clothes you can’t really say that you are an happy and cheerful person like an angel or something like that!” with an eyebrow raised she now looked at me “so I’m the evil queen..” I laughed, “What do you prefer to be an goblin instead?” “ Oh!!” she leant over again and started to punch me a couple of times more. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her on her back with me on top. She struggled to get me off. “I guess the roles are changed now!” I gave her a few quick kisses. Selphie laughed. It went on for this for quite a while until we decided to go to the city where Selphie would go shopping with Anouk and I would go with Dean and some others to Sam’s house where we would start our little band. We have been thinking about this for quite a while and we have made some songs together which were pretty good. And now we would finally do it and become a ban and perform it on school! .. At least that will be our goal.
Selphie and I were walking down the street when her cell phone started to ring. She picked up the phone “hello?” I saw her face changing, into something I couldn’t describe! After a few minutes she hang up. Me off course was worried because one minute she was totally happy and then it all changed. “Who was it?” she looked at me with still the same expression “my father” “so what’s wrong..” it was quiet for a little while then a little smile appeared on her face “he asked me if I liked to have a cake. Because then he would bake one!” I was expecting something really bad but when I heard this I couldn’t help myself and started laughing. “He’s baking you a cake!!” Selphie nodded. We were both laughing so hard that we couldn’t stand on our legs.. “A cake!!”
“Hey Dean!” Dean looked around and started laughing, “what happened to you? You look like a toddler! You are all red and your hair is totally messed up” “jeez thanks for the compliment! I had a good laugh with Selphie and she totally kicked my ass when I made fun of her.” Dean laughed “beaten by a girl huh!” I gave Dean a push “Don’t you start as well!” “Come on.. Everybody is already waiting for you.
- Koe
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- Berichten: 426
- Geregistreerd: 30-06-02
- Woonplaats: lelystad
Geplaatst door de TopicStarter : 07-12-04 19:22
Selphie’s POV:
I was walking with Anouk through the street. “So.. Tell me is everything okay now?.. I understand if you don’t want to tell me.. But I’m a bit curious” I smiled at Anouk but then I looked to the ground. “It sure is different then I had expected.. I never thought that he could change but.. He’s acting that weird.. He is baking cake and all other kind of things..” Anouk smiled “that’s good right..” “Perhaps.. But right now I don’t really know what is scarier.. My father beating me up or him as a maid doing everything in the house like baking cakes and pies..” “Is that really bothering you?” “I don’t know..” deep in my heart I did know what was bothering me. This just didn’t fell right. We both walked through the street when Anouk suddenly dragged me into a shop. “What the?” “O come on! They’ve got some good stuff here!” when I looked around I saw that this was a big warehouse. I got myself a basket and looked around. “Hey Selphie, look at me” I looked around and saw that Anouk found herself a football. She started playing around until she kicked the ball away a bit harder than she actually wanted it to be. We both watch how the ball hit the many cans on the floor. “Oopsie..” we both grinned while we quickly walked away from it. “I hope nobody saw that” “too late! I did!” we both laughed but nobody had seen who had thrown the cans on the floor.
After a couple hours of shopping we sat on a terrace where we would meet the others again. When a waitress passed by I noticed that Anouk stared at her. “So, how are you actually.. Have you found someone?” she looked at me a bit shocked “I’m.. Not like you…” I smiled “don’t worry I know that you are gay.. I heard it from Dash, I just wondered..” I could see that she didn’t felt comfortable about this. “I really don’t mind it you know.. I think that everybody is different and that they should be themselves.. there are more people like you so what is exactly the big deal?” Anouk smiled “thank you.. and to answer your question.. no I haven’t found someone yet.” I smiled, it must have looked a bit evil with me dressed in black, and now smiling on an evil way. “then we should find you someone..” I looked around and pointed at a brown woman who was a kind of fat eating a double cheeseburger where the sausage ran out of her mouth. “how about her” Anouk looked at where I was pointing at and started screaming. “NO WAY!” I laughed “okay.. that one!” again I pointed at a girl though this time it was a old lady who was all skinny and.. pale. Anouk laughed “better.. but not exactly my type..” we both laughed about it and continued this for a long time until the waitress stopped at our table “don you want to order something?” “yes a coke please” “me too!” the waitress walked away and I looked at her. She was just our age and not bad at all, with that same evil grin I looked at Anouk “and her?” Anouk looked at her as well. I could see that she liked her.. though I also know that she would never ask someone. She looked at the table not daring to look at me “she’s okay..” “liar!” it was quiet for a few minutes. When I looked at the bar I noticed that the waitress constantly looked at our table. Which gave me an idea “let me handle this! ”I stood up leaving Anouk a bit confused and walked to the bar. “hi, can I speak to you for a moment?” the waitress look around but also a bit confused. I bet that she was a bit scared if I saw that she was staring at us. “Yeah, sure!” “I’ve got a question.. you know. Do you know someone who is gay?.. female I mean..” the girl looked surprised but also afraid” “why do you ask me this?” “well just say, a friend of mine is gay.. and she is searching for someone and my friend and I notice that you were staring at us the whole time.. so I thought..” the waitress looked around trying to find an excuse to get out of this conversation. “so are you?” I leant forward over the bar and came closer to her face. I talked softly so that nobody could here me. the girl clearly afraid shook her head and she spoke with a trembling voice “no I’m not..” I pretended like I was sad “pity..” I shrugged and walked back to the table where I got a questioned look from Anouk “what did you do?” “I asked her if she knew someone who was gay.. she said no” Anouk looked surprised “you did what!.. you didn’t say that I was..” I smiled “no I didn’t..”
A few minutes after laughing I noticed that the waitress still looked at us. An other waiter brought our drinks but now we wanted to pay for it. The waitress came and gave us a bill and a little note. Anouk grabbed the note and read it: If you are searching for a friend, please come tonight to the red dragon pub.. I’ll be there.. just ask the man behind the counter for willow. Anouk’s face looked shocked when she read it. “what does it say?” I grabbed the note out of her hand and read it as well. I smiled.
I heard some laughing behind us and when I looked around I saw the smiling faces of Dash and Dean. They came over to us and almost immediately asked Anouk what was wrong. Anouk was so surprised that she couldn’t bring out any words so I decided to tell them “Anouk has found a date for tonight” everybody cheered for Anouk, and told her how happy they were for her. It made her feel comfortable though because she started smiling and talking along now as well.