Geplaatst 
Ik hoor in iedergeval graag wat jullie er van vinden tot zover enne suggesties voor een titel mogen altijd
(al is dat nu nog wat vroeg want jullie weten de verhaallijn niet en het verhaal is nog maar net begonnen 
)Maar goed hier het begin:
VERHAAL
Chapter one: I have to go!
‘Yes, I am still going! I can’t stay here for the rest of my life, I want to see more of the world than just Holland! You can’t stop me, I want to live my own life, you’ve got to let me go now…!’ I said to mom as she started whining again about me going to New Zealand. I knew she only did it because she loved me and it was hard for her to let me go there all alone. But I needed some space, I wanted to do and go somewhere completely different, away from the situation I was in now. I needed to meet some new people, other people. I was fed up with the way I was living my life the last few years. And I didn’t blame the people around me, but really felt an outsider in my own family and even with my own friends. I was growing apart from them. We all went our own ways and I really felt like no one really knew me anymore… I was different, I felt different. Maybe going away wasn’t the best idea, maybe it was sort of running away from my problems. Maybe I would still have the same problem in New Zealand, I didn’t know. All I knew I had to do something completely different. And that was what I was going to do by going to New Zealand.
‘But honey, it’s so far away!’ My mom replied.
‘MOM! Please, you know I’m going anyways, so you might as well stop whining about it all the time, it makes me even more desperate to go away!’
‘Ok, I’m sorry..’ She replied, hurt by what I just said.
‘No I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, I didn’t mean it.. But you can drive me crazy sometimes!’ I said.
‘You’re right, I won’t mention it again…. For now..’ She said sticking her tongue out.
‘You… ! ‘ I said half laughing, not knowing anything else to say.
‘Come on, give me a hug!’ My mom said
‘I’m only being so fed up because I care about you! And once you’re in on the other end of the world I won’t be there to take care of you when you need to be taken care of… it worries me..’ She said
‘Mom, I know you care about me and I’m really thanking God every day for having a mom like you!’ I said being sentimental, but I really meant every word I said.
Then we were silent for a few moments and after that I carried on arranging and planning lots of things which had to be taken care of before I could leave. It was really hectic. But reckoned it was all worth it.
I was leaving to New Zealand in a month and there was still a whole lot to be done. I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted to try not to forget anything like I usually did on lots of other occasions. I planned to study law school over there and I also had to find a job. I hoped I could find some sort of job in training or taking care of horses, it was one of the things I was really good at. And it was probable one of the things from home I was going to miss most. I couldn’t take my own horse with me and my horse was the hardest for me to leave behind. I wasn’t going to see it for at least a whole year… I really, really was going to miss it! The more I thought about it, the more second thoughts I had. So tried not to think to much about it. I couldn’t go back now, I couldn’t call it a day now… I wanted to go.
Sometimes it was hard to fight my feelings, but I told myself, no matter what, I AM going! I kept telling myself that every time I had second thoughts. It was a big step, but I was sure it would be a good thing to do for me.
‘A penny for your thoughts!’ Belle, my friend said as she walked up to me.
‘Oh, their not that interesting!’ I said laughing.
‘Thinking about going to New Zealand again huh?!’ She said.
‘Yeah, I was. Sometimes it scares me, but most of the time I can’t wait to just go. But I have thought it over and over again. In the end I always decide it is good idea. I leave some things behind, but who knows what I’ll get in return. I just keep telling myself it’ll be great over there. At least I know the landscapes are pretty amazing, thats one thing to look forward to! ’ I said.
‘Ohh, I’m sure you’ll have a great time over there!’ Belle said being supportive.
‘Yeah, it better be!’ I said in a funny semi threatening voice.
‘When exactly are you going to leave?’ She asked.
‘In September, the 5th to be precise.’
‘So, as soon as fall comes in here you’re leaving to New Zealand and if I‘m not mistaking it‘s spring when you arrive there! You’re going to have whole year summer!! I’m so jealous!’
‘Yeah I know, haha, it’s going to be fantastic!’ I said. I’d already forgotten my worries again..! A whole year of summer, you gotta love it!! I thought.
‘But have you got plans for this afternoon already? ‘ Belle asked.
‘Not yet, I think I’m gonna take volcano for ride’ I replied.
‘Good, I was planning to go for a ride as well, so we can go together if you want?’ she asked.
‘Of course, silly!’ I replied laughing. ‘How could I not want to go for a ride with you and Rider? I continued
‘Okay, then I’ll see you at the stables’ she replied laughing ‘I’ve gotta go now, had to some shopping for my mom. I promised to back a.s.a.p.’ She continued.
‘Okay, I’ll see you later then and say hi to your mom from me’ I replied
‘okay, I will’ She replied
A few days later
Today it was the 3rd of August. I still had a month to prepare and enjoy the time I had left with my biggest love, Volcano, my horse. I really had to miss it for a whole year, it was going to be so hard. I arranged someone to take care of Volcano while I was gone. It had been really hard to find someone who came up to my expectations, my standards were really high. The person who was going to take care of my closest friend for the last few years had to be perfect. I had to make sure, for 100%, that he was going to be alright while I was gone.
‘Hey buddy! How are ya, huh?’ I asked Volcano as I entered the stables.
A soft mumbling came from the stable he was in. ‘So boy, we better enjoy our time together while we still can… I’m going to be away for a whole year… I’m really going to miss you!’ He let out a heavy sigh as if he’d understood what I just said. It’s a beautiful day to go and visit my grandma today, I thought to myself as I looked up at the sky which was perfectly crystal blue. My grandma lived in a little village about 15 kilometres away. A nice distance to go for a ride. If I didn’t rush my way over there, like I always was, trying to brake my last record, I’d have a nice ride for about two hours to get there and two hours to get back again.
I got my grooming stuff and started brushing volcano. He really seemed to enjoy it every time, he always closed his eyes just standing still and enjoying every minute. No one could ever understand how much I loved this horse. I really felt so close to him, we had a very strong bond. I hoped he wouldn’t miss me to much when I left.
Luckily he started to build some sort of bond with the girl who was going to take care of him when I was gone as well. That made me feel a little bit better, at least he wouldn’t be feeling alone, I hoped. I also thought about bringing him to herd, to live free for a whole year, until I got back. But volcano wasn’t the kind of horse to be happy that way. He loved to be around people, he loved to work. And if he was somewhere in a herd there wouldn’t always be someone looking after him. To me it felt saver if there was.
‘Well come on boy, let’s go.’ I said to him as I lead him outside.
A few minutes later we rode along the road. I was really enjoying this. I loved to be one with volcano, with nature.. For as far there was any nature around here. I thought to myself again, waking up from a daydream. It was a pity that there wasn’t more forest or something like that around here. I always had to ride along busy roads or trough villages. But I was enjoying anyways, as long as I was with volcano.
Two short hours later I arrived at my grandma’s.
‘Hi!’ I heard Anna, my niece, shouting happily at me. She also loved volcano. She was over at ours as much as she could, just to be with volcano. She never got the chance to ride or get her own horse. Her mom found it way to dangerous and expensive. Or maybe the expensive part was just another excuse to deny her from riding. Her mom was really protective with her. She’d always been some sort of ’problem child’ she’d been really ill right after she was born and she never totally recovered. But she had fun with me and volcano Though she didn’t understand much of horses, she and volcano could get along just fine. Volcano was really tolerant and careful with her. As if he understood that she didn’t really know what she was doing. What a brilliant horse do I have I thought to myself realizing that.
‘How are you? And how’s Volcano?’ She immediately asked.
‘Oh, don’t you worry we’re both fine!’ I said to her and smiled. I took the saddle of Volcano and put him in the little grass field my grandma had.
‘Hi grandma, how are you?’ I greeted my grandma. She loved to have some visitors since she got older every day and she wasn’t as healthy as she used to be, so she didn’t get out that much anymore and my grandpa died a couple of years ago. Luckily there were still enough family members living in the same village. (her children, my uncles and aunts and their children, my cousins) So she wasn’t entirely on her own. It was the same reason she hadn’t gone to a home, there were still enough people to help her out. I was glad about that, in my opinion she wasn’t the kind of woman to be living in a home.
‘I’m fine my child! But still getting older every day, huh?!’ She replied to my question.
‘It was a nice day to go for a ride! The weather is fantastic!’ She continued.
‘Yeah, I had a nice ride!’ I replied happily.
Then I went of to get some drinks for us. I was pretty thirsty since it was really warm and didn’t have anything for the last two hours. After that we talked for a while and played some cards. Then my niece and I got volcano again and prepared him for the ride back home. But before we went home I let my niece ride a few rounds trough the little grass field. It was nice to see her having so much fun with volcano.
A week later
I was watching some internet pages about New Zealand and the law school where I was going to study. It was a nice school. Not to big and not to small, about 350 students the internet page said. It was in Auckland, the capital of New Zealand. I also arranged an apartment in Auckland, not to far from my school. The only thing I still had to do was search for a job, but I couldn’t really do that from Holland. But I had saved enough money to make it through the first three months. I reckoned that would give me enough time to find a job. Of course I also had some savings for furniture, I couldn’t take all my stuff from home with me.
My apartment wasn’t really big, but from the pictures I got it looked big enough for me. I had a bedroom, a bathroom, a little kitchen and a living room, all on one floor. And I had a balcony with a nice view over the city. The apartment as well as the school were on the edge of the city. Which was perfect, cause if I found some work with horses I assumed it wouldn’t be in the centre of Auckland.
But I was satisfied, I’d arranged everything and was ready to go. Well, I still had to wait a few weeks before my plane took off, but I was as ready as I could be. The last few weeks would be very laid back for me. I was really glad I had arranged most things now. The only thing I still had to do was packing my bags, but I’d already made a list of all the things I wanted to take, to make sure I wouldn’t forget them. I could hardly wait with packing, but I still had to use most of the stuff I had to pack. In two weeks from now I was leaving. I wanted to visit as much relatives before leaving as I could, after all I wouldn’t see them for at least a year and a lot can happen in a year.
I didn’t know my family and friends were organizing a farewell party for me so I would get to see everyone before I left anyways.
‘Yeah, let me see the list, we can’t forget to invite anyone!’ My mom said.
‘I think we’ve got everyone by now, family and friends.’ Belle said.
‘Yeah, now we have to arrange a location and the rest of the party.’ Anna said.
‘And we have to make sure Feline doesn’t suspect a thing’ My mom firmly said.
‘My lips are sealed!’ Said Belle ‘And so are mine’ Anna added.
‘But where is Leanne? ‘ My mom asked ‘I thought she was going to help as well’
‘Yeah, she’s coming, but she’s a little later because she had to do something else first, I was going to tell you, but I forgot’ Belle said. Leanne was another friend of mine, I knew her from high school.
‘Okay, well, Anna, we’re going to arrange a location and you and Leanne can do the invitations. ‘My mom said to Belle and Anna’ And they continued arranging the whole party.
Meanwhile all I could do was wait and fill in the time I had left with useful things, which were mainly, like I mentioned before, spending time with Volcano and my family and friends.
Chapter two: Let’s party ?
‘Sssh! Shhhht! She’s coming’ Belle hushed at everyone. So they all went hiding behind the furniture and set the lights off. Leanne and I were going to a party from some old schoolmates, at least, that was what she’d told me. I had no clue of what was really going on.
‘Hey, it’s really quiet here Leanne! Are you sure this is the place?’ I asked her thinking maybe we’d gone to the wrong place. ‘Yes of course I am! ‘ She replied. ’Maybe we’re just early’ she continued.
‘Hmm, well, we’ll see.’ I said.
Leanne lead me to the room the party was and let me enter the room firs of course.
‘Ehhm Leanne? It’s really dark in here…’ I said
‘well, maybe you should turn the light on then? Huh!’ She said sarcastically.
So I switched on the light.
‘SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!’ Everyone yelled jumping up from behind the furniture.
‘Ohh guys! You really didn’t have to do this!’ I said being really surprised. I’d never expected this to happen!
‘You are fantastic! I really didn’t suspect a thing! You’re really sneaky!’ I laughed.
Then they all came up to me wishing me all the luck in New Zealand and the party started. I had a really good time, almost everyone I wanted to say goodbye to was here! But the biggest surprise was yet to come.
‘So, having a good time?’ Belle said as she came up to me. ‘Of course! Everyone close to me is here tonight!’ I replied. ‘I’m really grateful you guys arranged all this, it’s amazing!’
‘We did it for you! And you know, we all are really going to miss you! Even though sometimes you have your doubts about that.’ Belle said.
‘Thank you’ I said while giving her a hug.
I didn’t know the whole party was also part of another plan; They wanted to try and change my mind. They wanted to try and make me stay.
Then all of a sudden Belle and all the others got all winded up about something. I really wondered what that was all about. ‘Belle! What is going on?’ I asked her.
‘Ohh, nothing, ehhm I eh gotta go for a second, be right back’ She said walking away.
Weirdo! I thought to myself. I wonder what their all up to now..
And while thinking about that I wasn’t aware that some one came up to me from behind.
‘Hello Feline.’ Someone behind me said.
I froze… That voice… I thought
I know that voice. Ohh damn right I knew that voice… I felt my heart making a little jump.
‘Jack…!’ I said not knowing where to look.
He lifted up my chin gently with his finger making me look at him.
‘How are you?’ He asked looking deeply into my eyes.
‘W…w..what are you doing here?’ I asked being very confused. What was he doing here? Why was he here? I really had no clue..
‘Ohh, that’s nice to know. And thank you for asking, I’m fine as well’ He said looking very amused about the way I reacted at his presence.
‘I am here for you’ He then said answering my question.
‘Why?’ I said, still not knowing what to expect from him.
‘I’ve got my common sense back and I realized I made the biggest mistake I ever could…’ He said with a true look on his face.
‘And what do you expect to happen now?’ I asked him feeling the pain that he caused me again.
‘I don’t expect anything. I just wanted you to know, that I’m sorry… I’m so sorry for what I did. I caused you pain and I have to live with that for the rest of my life… I realize that now. I was such a fool…
I can’t turn the clock back, but if I could I would and then I would’ve never done what I did…
And I know this isn’t going to make you feel better, but I just wanted you to know how sorry I am…’ He said.
I didn’t reply. I just kept staring at him and a painful silence followed.
‘Please say something..’ he begged me
‘What made you change you’re mind about me?’ I then asked.
‘I don’t know, I suddenly realized that what I felt for you was there all along but I didn’t realized that a while ago and I don’t know why.. All I know now is that I have very strong feelings for you..’
I didn’t speak again.
‘I love you Feline…’ He then said looking desperate..
And I completely fell for him, for what he said..
But who’s blaming me? It’s wasn’t to long ago that he and I were friends. We were hanging out a lot together and with friends. Just as friends. We’d known each other for ages, since we we’re like nine or ten years old. But at a certain moment I began to realize that I felt a lot more for him than just friendship. So much more than that. And for a moment I thought he felt the same for me, but soon after I let him in on my feelings for him, he dumped me.. He called me one night telling me it was over and that he didn’t want to see me again. That was all he said. The last words he said to me until tonight… It was now four months ago. And I still had feelings for him.. And I was giving in to those feelings now… In my head I knew I shouldn’t but I couldn’t control my feelings.
I let myself fall into his arms, crying. His arms, where’d felt save so many times.
‘Ohh sweetheart, don’t cry, it’s all going to be alright now.. I’m with you now.. We’re together now.’ He said comforting me, holding me close.
‘Look it’s working… Would he be able to persuade her to stay?’ My mom asked the others.
‘I don’t know. But I do know Feline still has feelings for him..’ Anna said.
They all did want me and Jack to get back together, but the reason they we’re trying to push it now was mainly to make me stay. And I don’t really know why they were so determined to try and make stay. It was not as if relations between all of them and me were really that close… It wouldn’t really make a lot of difference for them if I stayed or left. I didn’t understand.
Meanwhile a slow song came on and Jack led me to the dance floor. He held me close in his strong arms and I felt completely save. I laid my head on his shoulder holding him tight as well. It felt so perfect that moment. I hoped and crossed my fingers that this wasn’t a dream, that it was real and true and all really was going to be okay…
Deep in my heart I knew it wasn’t going to be okay. But I didn’t want to feel the pain anymore… I wanted to be with Jack.. Like nothing ever happened and we were just happy, like the past four months were nothing but a bad nightmare. I wanted to love him and I wanted him to love me back…
I wished this moment could last forever. Of course it wouldn’t last forever and I knew that the moment we let go, it would be different. It would never be like it was and I knew this was the last moment I could have this feelings for him without feeling the pain. The last moment to be perfect.
Then the song ended and we pulled away from each other .
‘Feline, I need to talk to you, we need to talk’ He then said.
‘I know.’ I said now knowing I just made a mistake. I might be able to forgive him for what he did, but I would never forget. We couldn’t be together again, at least not as lovers. I couldn’t put my faith in him anymore and I didn’t want a relationship build on those circumstances. I needed a relationship build on trust and I wouldn’t find that with Jack.
He took me to another room so we could have some privacy.
‘Feline.. We need to discuss where we go from here. I know it’ll take a while before you will trust me again and we can go on where we left off..’
‘Jack..’ I said interrupting him.
‘but I want you to know that I’m going to try so hard for you to be able to trust me again.. I’m ….’
‘Jack!’ I raised my voice interrupting him again..
‘Wait.. I just want you to know..’ He continued again
‘No Jack.. Please listen to me..’ I said
‘I’m going to New Zealand in a week, we can’t go on…
You can’t make it all alright within a week.. And I don’t want you to try either..’ I said
‘But..’ He tried to say something
‘shh..’ I continued ‘I can forgive you Jack, maybe you were overwhelmed and maybe you’d never expected that I felt more for you than just friendship, I can forgive you.. But I can’t forget, every time I’m going to be with you I’m going to feel the pain again.. I can never be sure that you won’t leave me on my own again.
I love you Jack.. But I need to be sure I can trust you, and I can’t..’ I said to him with pain in my heart. I didn’t want to leave him, but I knew I couldn’t put myself trough that pain to be with him.
‘But Feline.. I don’t want you to go.. I love you.. You can’t just go. We can work it all out. I can make you trust me again. I won’t leave you ever again!’ He said taking my head in his hands looking deeply into my eyes.
‘You don’t have to go.. Please don’t go’ He said.
‘I’ve got to do this for myself. Please try to understand me…’ I said.
‘I want to build up a new life.. I can’t go on living like this. It hurts to much. Not only because of you, but because of lots of other things… And now I see it won’t work out between us. I’m not going to be able to explain to you how I feel… No one back here is close enough to me to understand.. I feel alone being here. And I know everyone wants to try and understand me, but trust me, I’ve tried but they didn’t understand me. No one really knows me anymore. And it hurts to much to live on this way. If you really love me you’d try and understand that and just let me go..’ I said.
I saw the pain in his eyes. He really didn’t want me to go. He really thought it was going to be alright.
‘I’ll try to understand… But please.. Think about it.. About us. I will try to understand you.’ He said.
‘I know you would.. But it doesn’t matter anymore.. It’s to late now. I will go to New Zealand next week and no one can stop me anymore.. I’m sorry’ I said and gave him a hug.
‘But remember.. I love you and I still do. I’m really glad for what we have and had, but it’s time for me to move on. I want you to be happy. Find someone and make a fresh start, I know it’ll work out for you.. It has to. You are really nice guy. I want to stay friends with you, but I also want you to be happy again! So, when I’m gone, don’t go and feel sorry for yourself or me because I left, but make a new start! Promise me you will…!’ I said.
‘Okay.. I promise.. But you’ll have a place in my heart forever and no one is going to take that away.. Not ever!’ He replied.
‘I really love you Jack and I hope with all my heart you’re going to be happy’ I said and we hugged again.
Then we went to the party downstairs again.
‘They’re sure taking their time to talk..’ Belle said
‘Would they really be talking?’ Anna said giving Belle a wink.
‘Ohh look there they are…’ My sister said.
‘I wonder if he persuaded her to stay…’ My dad said more to himself than to the others.
‘Yeah.. Well as long as we’re not sure, don’t mention a thing about it.. Otherwise she might suspect something and then it definitely won’t work!’ My mom firmly said.
TO BE CONTINUED
) Neem er anders een paar eenvoudige regeltjes grammaire van Engelse werkwoorden bij he. Dan wordt de tekst al veel professioneler!