Dissonant honking of horns and flashing of sirens! You are
Loyal, considerate, generous. These are a few words that describe the opposite of you. You put a price on friendship—about $20. To you, the word "friendship" is actually "friend's hip"—as in, you think you can just, like, lean on a pal whenever you damn well please. And steal their money. And their boyfriend/girlfriend. Sure, sure, you've got nice hair, and a capable understanding of irony in neo-Romantic German expressionist poetry, but you'd sell babies up the river to avoid doing a friend a favor. Say it loud: Ich bin ein baby-seller! You are, in a word, unlawful evil. Fine, two words. Away, treacherous orc!
wie wil mijn vriendje zijn? >:)