first love

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first love

Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst door de TopicStarter: 28-07-03 14:55

by Wendy nickerson-gough

this is a tribute to a horse, Que Alegre (Que Mas x Serrahanna Shakira) and my son, who loved her.

Que Alegre came to our farm as a broodmare, although she'd won championships in all phases of arabian competitions and a U.S. natioal top ten. She was high-spirited and full of fire, the essence of beauty and arabian charm. We had no idea of the role this mare would play in our son's live.

P.J is a wonderfull child, with big brown eyes, an incredible smile and the gentleness of a lamb. But P.J's life is often troubled and filled with heartache, fot P.J is autistic.
His love for this mare came to a focal piont in his life, and our window into his mind.

I remember the mothers anguish and heartbreak I felt upon learning that my child was autistic, locked into a world few people know anything about, doomed to his own limitations. No one, it seemed, could reach him. He was gentle, sometimes timid, rambunctious and over-eager. He rarely, if ever, gave eye contact. But I wanted him to know -realy know- that we loved him. What a task..

I can't say that it was magic or a miracle, although I belive strongly that our lord gave Que Alegre to us to initiate the mending progress that we, as a family, so clearly needed. We yearned fot a passageway into P.J's heart... And Que Alegre was that passageway. The skies didn't part, the sea didn't split -in fact, the manner in which P.J greeted Que Alegre was quuite matter-of-fact. He touched her and she muzzled him. And I saw it. Eye contact. He was looking at her abd rubling her shoulder.

This seemed ironic to me, as the hauler who had just dropped her off at our farm had told us she was a bit on the spirited side and that only a professional should handle her. P.J became that professional. He became obsessed with her as ausistic children often do, but something wonderful was happening, P.J was learning to love, to be touched and to touch others.

This mare spent countless hours on 'her' child. I say 'Her' becuase she knew he was special. For hours he picked up the same hoof and put it down again, over and over and over.
The mare never lost patience. With a flick of her tail she could have hurt this most delicate prize, her child. She never did!

During the next five years Que Alegre turned our lives around. With love and arav=bian gentleness at it's best, day in and day out.
She nurtured P.J's life. He brushed her, loved her. She taught him eye contact, human contact, speech, love.

P.J was growing, far exeeding his doctors' expectations.

But blue skies fill with clouds, as ours did one day in February 1990. Que Alegre was old and sick. There was no hope and we had to put her down. This most precious life was gone, and in the house was a little boy waiting for the doctors' to fix his horse.

The walk to the house from the barn filled me with a multitude of mixed emations. What would I say? How would I say it? Would I lose him back to his fantasy world? My heart was breaking and my anguish was indisguisable.
I walked into the house and he looked staight into my eyes. How could I hurt him? lord -help me- What would I say? I was sobbing. P.J touched me. He put his hand into mine. He could feel my pain, and for the fist time in 8 Years, as god is mywitness, we were one. He was looking at me and lovind me and holding me, and I knew he knew.

What happend next was purely in god's hands, for I not know how it happened, P.J and I went outside and sat down by his mare. She was gone, and notthing could bring her back. He stroked her soft nose, kissed her, talked to her. He knew she was gone. But were mommy? Where? At that moment I felt like there was a gun at my head.

"P.J" I said, "god needed a very special horse to carry a very special angel, and of all the horses in the world, he piched yours".

A long silence felt between us. Finally with full eye contact and his disjointed speech, he asked, "does she have wings now?"

"Yes" I anwered. "The most beautifull gold and silver wings."

He and I sat There for a long While. You see, Que Alegre had once again given to her child. His first love also became his first loss-
Que Alegre not only taught him how to love in life, she also thaught him about death. He was not frightened or repulsed. His prayers are full of Que Alegre. Her picture hangs above his bed. We continue our search fot that special horse.

My message to all who read this is that all is not lost. At a time whem prices of arabian horses were at an al-time high, something much more magical than money was happening in my barn. There was no price on it.
Owning these horses is a truly gift, and we should treath them as such.
For P.J the gift went beyond what any wallot could hold.
It was not about pedigree, it was not about money. It was not about ribbons, thophies, medals. It was about love, it was about life.

Thank you Que alegre, for your love, your life, and most of all, for the patiend understanding you gave my son who, without you, would still be fumbling around his own world. Thank you for making the pain more bareable. Whe love you, and best of all, so does P.J
Your love changed our life forever!


Berichten: 4494
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Woonplaats: Leersum; Latoy in Amerongen, Jip aan het Leersumse Veld en Door in de opfok in Doornspijk!

Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 29-07-03 10:33

beautifull !!!

Officieel veterinair homeopaat,
Jip is klasse 4, CEI** en heeft 2477,7 km op de teller!!! Latoy geniet van haar pensioen (na 1148,5 goedgekeurde wedstrijdkilometers!!!)


Berichten: 1485
Geregistreerd: 18-12-02
Woonplaats: Nijmegen

Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst door de TopicStarter: 01-08-03 16:57

ja he, ik moest er ook bijna een traantje bij wegpinken.
Maar dat komt door me grote liefde voor arabieren, en ik vind dat dit verhaal toch wel iets zegt over hun karakter.
(vandaar bij rassenpraat geplaatst.)

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