Uhm, even wat luchtigs.

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cornelie

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Uhm, even wat luchtigs.

Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst door de TopicStarter: 20-11-03 17:00

Weet even geen andere titel Haha! Dit kreeg ik via de endurance lijst:


Subject: The Differences in Riding Disciplines Explained

The BackYard Rider:

The backyard rider is usually found wearing shorts and sports bra in
summer, and flannel nightgown, muck boots and down jacket in
winter.
Drives a Ford Tempo filled with saddle blankets and dog hair. Most
have deformed toes on one or the other foot from being stepped on in
thin Keds sneakers.

Pulls a two-horse bumper-pull trailer stored behind the barn, used
for hay storage.
Her horse, Snookums, sports a hand-cut (with scissors) bridle path;
duct tape holds a shoe on until the farrier gets by next month.

Overheard frequently: "It's too hot/cold/wet/dry to ride."

The Endurance Rider:

The endurance rider wears Lycra tights in wild neon colors. The
shinier the better, so the EMT's can find her body when her horse
dumps her down a ravine. Wears hiking shoes of some sort, and T-
shirts she got for paying $75 to complete another torturous ride.

Her horse, Al Kamar Shazaam, used to be called "you bastard" until
he
found an owner as hyper as he. Can spook at a blowing leaf, spin a
360 and not lose his big trot rhythm or give an inch to the horse
behind him.

Has learned to eat, drink, pee and drop to his resting pulse rate on
command; he has compiled 3,450 AERC miles-- with his rider compiling
3,445-- the missing five miles are the ones when he raced down the
trail without his rider after performing his trademark 360.

Overheard frequently: "Anyone have Advil?" "Anyone got some food? I
think last year's Twinkies finally went bad." "For this pain I spend
money?" "Shazaam, you bastard-- it's just a leaf [thud]!"

The Natural Horsemanship devotee:

The natural horsemanship devotee looks like a throwback from a Texas
ranch, despite the fact that he lives in the suburbs of New Jersey.

Rope coiled loosely in hand in case he needs to herd any of those
kids on roller-blades away from his F-350 dually in the Wal-Mart
parking lot. Cowboy hat strategically placed, and just dirty enough
to look cool. Levi's are well worn.

"Lightning" is, of course, this natural horsemanship guy's horse.
Rescued from a bad home where he was never imprinted or broke in the
natural horsemanship way, he specialized in running down his owners
at feeding time, knocking children off his back on low-hanging
branches, and baring his teeth to look mean.

The hospitalization tally for his previous handlers was 12, until he
was sent to Round Pen Randy; after ten minutes in said pen, he is
now
a totally well-broke horse, bowing to the crowd, and can put on his
own splint boots (with R.P.Randy's trademark logo embossed on
them).

R.P.R. says, of all this, "Well, shucks ma'am, tweren't
nuthin'!" "It's simple horsemanship." "With this special twirly
flickitatin' rope ($17.95 plus tax), you'll be round-pennin' like me
in no time!"

The Western Pleasure Rider:

The western pleasure rider is starched, bejeweled and has more
silver
than the Queen of England. The ladies wear more rhinestones than
Liberace and you can literally go blind watching the Amateur western
pleasure class.

Their horses have to have Zippo, Chococlate Chip, Blazing, or
Dynamic
in their name or they aren't worth buying.

Most pleasure horses walk at the jog (what happened to a 2-beat
diagonal gait?) and look like they're impaled on a carousel pole at
the lope, yet they are a "pleasure" to ride.
If the class got any slower the horses & riders would be asleep.

Most of the men look like they're sitting in recliners any way,
reared back & propped up.
Huge spurs with wicked rowels are mandatory for obtaining forward
motion and that "infamous" spur stop. Kind of a contradiction
huh?!?

The Dressage Queen:

The dressage queen is freshly coiffed and dressed.

Diamond stud earrings are elegant and stately, and not so large that
they blind the judge during her passage-piaffe movements. $30 dollar
denim jumper is worn over $300 full-seat white breeches and custom
Koenigs.

Her horse, Fleistergeidelsprundheim ("Fleistergeidel" for short) is
a
17.3-hand warmblood who was bred to make Grand Prix in a European
nation where his sellers are still laughing hysterically when they
talk about 'zat crazy American.' Despite being runty, his new owner
fell in love with his lofty gaits, proud carriage and tremendous
athleticism.

Never mind that this talent was not revealed until he was chased by
a
rabid fox, and has not been repeated since.

The Hunter / Jumper Competitor:

The hunter/jumper competitor is in a wide-striped polo shirt and
beige breeches.
The polo is so folks will know they're a jumper rider until they put
on their shirt and stock tie.
Baseball cap is mandatory after a ride, in order to exhibit free
advertising for that trainer's stable for which they've forked over
a
mere grand or so per month.

Her horse, Neverbeenraced, is a prime example of American
Thoroughbred.
The coat is deep bay, no markings, a textbook TB head (no jowl), and
no unusual conformational characteristics other than crooked legs.
Perfect, just perfect.

The gelding has learned to count strides all by himself, and asks in
midair which lead his mistress would like to land on today.

The Eventer:

The Eventer is always hunched over. Bent forward under the load,
it's from carrying three saddles, three bridles, three bits, and all
related color-coordinated gear to every three-day event on the East
Coast, or it could possibly be a defensive stance for protecting
his/her wallet, which is, of course, nearly empty after buying three
saddles, three bridles, three bits and all that color-coordinated
gear.

Looked down on by the H/J set as "people who just run their horses
at
fences" and by the dressage queens as "not pure dressage riders,"
eventers are smugly convinced that they are in fact the only people
in the world who CAN ride, since the H/J's don't jump real fences
and
the dressage queens don't ride real horses.

One popular horse, Fastnhighasican, is a Thoroughbred track reject
who had never won (or placed) in a single race. Perfect eventer! He
has two speeds: gallop and stop'n'dump which are used at his
discretion for all three phases of eventing.

His favorite stunt is performed at cross-country water obstacles
where his rider invariably stands up slimed in waist-deep, murky
pond
water and threatens to sell him to Fleistergeidel's owner.

Called "Hi-ass" for short, Fastnhighasican delights in another
hilarious speed variation, the imfreeandyoucantcatchmegallop, a real
crowd-pleaser. It brings down the house when he stops and licks the
Crisco off his legs before continuing on to the merciless telephone-
pole jump just ahead.


Herbivoortje

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 20-11-03 17:08

What a relief!!
Eindelijk 's even lekker lachen na die zware serieuze kost hier bij Western.....poeh.

Always keep an open mind.

Jeddah

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 20-11-03 18:10

Deze is leuk!! Ik had hem weleens gelezen, maar blijf een goeie!!

:+: Mijn paardjes :+:
Feel the fear and do it anyway
~Accept the things you cannot change and fight for everything else~

Mac

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 20-11-03 18:21

Whahaaaa ... treffend omschreven Haha! Clown

EvaC

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 20-11-03 18:28

Haha! Die zijn echt grappig! Vooral de laatste van de Military ruiters!

Waomi (Elcaro x Elmero B)
Bekijk ook eens mijn advertenties op de BoktMarkt

Mistic

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 20-11-03 18:34

Echt goed geschreven, heb weer lekker kunnen lachen.

Shah IBN Estaman 16-05-1997 - † 25-06-2010

cornelie

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst door de TopicStarter: 20-11-03 18:47

Ik heb alleen geen idee wíe het geschreven heeft???

Cowgirl

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 20-11-03 19:05

Super, vooral dit stukje tekst:

Citaat:
The western pleasure rider is starched, bejeweled and has more
silver
than the Queen of England


geweldig.

Ik ga hem denk ik maar in mijn onderschrift gebruiken. Haha!

Yessy

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 20-11-03 20:17

haha super Haha! hoe bedenk je zoiets Tong uitsteken

Vera

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 20-11-03 21:16

Whoehahahahaha! Echt heel erg grappig! *LOL*

Let horses whisper in your ear and breathe on your heart

K@rin

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 20-11-03 21:20

Ik vind hem goed!!!!!
En ik kende hem nog niet, heb hem meteen maar even bewaard.

BlackWych

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 21-11-03 08:47

Haha! ik mis alleen nog een stukje over de typische reining ruiter...

=^.,.^=

De grootste overwinningen zijn behaald door nog even vol te houden...Remember before you point your finger at someone else to blame, you point at least three fingers at yourself...

Haarbal

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 21-11-03 09:04

SUPER!

Ik heb helemaal dubbel gelegen!

Jo ho Sebastian, let's go far away, somewhere where the Captain won't be mad...
Jo ho Sebastian, I wanna love you good, we deserve much better than we've had...

cornelie

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst door de TopicStarter: 21-11-03 09:11

farichta schreef:
:D ik mis alleen nog een stukje over de typische reining ruiter...

=^.,.^=

Die is dit keer dan toch eens buiten schot gebleven Clown

Romkabouter

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 21-11-03 14:34

haha, deze zijn goed Haha!

Mijn woorden zijn mijn woorden en mijn mening. Deze graag alleen mij aanrekenen en niet mijn geliefden/vrienden/kennissen of een combi daarvan!

verkaatje
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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 21-11-03 17:43

super echt heel grappig *LOL*

Reenarulez

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 22-11-03 08:57

Citaat:
Overheard frequently: "It's too hot/cold/wet/dry to ride."


uhhhm Lips are sealed *zeg ik noooit Schijnheilig *

Karin

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 22-11-03 19:58

Ik las 'm ook op de lijst, wilde 'm vanavond op Bokt gaan zetten maar je bent me voor. Haha!

Heb ff wat zoekwerk verricht met Google, de tekst is meerdere malen te vinden in verschillende versies:

http://www.equestrian.nu/stories_poems/ ... _rider.htm
http://www.salscorral.com/humor/definin ... drider.htm
http://jmatt.net/ElecEq/types.html
http://horsesinthesouth.com/Articles/ri ... plines.asp
http://www.magicvistaranch.com/html/hor ... erider.htm

Gok dat het er eentje is die in de States ooit als kettingmail is rondgegaan en inmiddels NL heeft bereikt. Maar hij is wel erg goed! *LOL*

.
If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. <African proverb>

PeppySan

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 22-11-03 21:24

Is er ook een nederlandse vertaling van?

De kracht van de inspanning, zit in de ontspanning!
http://www.paderyranch.nl
www.hunebedtrec.nl

dapperdier

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 23-11-03 16:28

Haha!

wordt ik blij van...

Gek op mijn kleine tinkerbink...
http://www.dapperdier.nl Omdat je begrijpt dat kennis van paarden bijdraagt aan een blij paard, waardoor je geniet van samen werken aan een inspirerend partnerschap.
Elke maandag rond zeven uur gratis een tip op facebook!

Lielle

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 23-11-03 18:08

*LOL* *LOL* hoezo herkenbaar Knipoog


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