the horse show from hell (Engelstalig - lang)

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Lielle

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the horse show from hell (Engelstalig - lang)

Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst door de TopicStarter: 26-05-04 07:22

een topic dat ik jaren geleden ooit gelezen heb en nu toevallig weer tegen kwam op de discussiegroepen van google. Hilarious.

http://groups.google.nl/groups?q=%2B%22 ... gov&rnum=1

This story is called the Horse Show From Hell, or how I got talked into oing more stupid things in one day than I have done in my previous 36 years. (subtitle, never bring a 2 y.o. child to a horse show)

Last weekend, Donna called me and asked me to go to a show with her on Sunday. It was a schooling show about an hour from her place (which is about an hour from my place) and could I pull her trailer with my truck since we need 3 horses and a truck with a back seat. -- Sure *no problem*, sounds like fun. What time? 'Bout noon, classes should start about 2:00. OK, I'll be there about 11:00 and we'll have coffee and load up...

I get there at 11:08 by the clock in the truck. Donna runs up to the truck before it stops, dragging a wheel-barrow with a bale of hay and a bunch of buckets in it. "Where the hell have you been!?" "but..." "Never mind, get the truck hitched up" Yells to someone else I've met a few times before - "Kay - help Sue hitch the truck" Points to a stack of stuff "load that in Sue's truck and that in yours -- K Sunn and Mariah in the front, Maverick in the back - I'll get Carson (her 2 y.o. daughter) ready - meet me at the house." She drops the barrow and takes off - comes back a second later and flings the car seat next to this giant pile of stuff. I look at Kay, Kay looks back. K - "She said you're her best friend. Is she always like this before a show?" Me - "Well, actually, yes - gets a tad authoritarian". So we load the stuff and hook up the trailer. I have K Sunn ready and Mariah's owner has her ready and Kay has Maverick ready. Donna comes down the hill followed by Carson, who has a bag of cookies in one hand and a jar of peanutbutter in the other. I start to feel the first signs of dread. She straps the car seat in the back seat of my truck, loads in 2 blankets, a handfull of passifiers, cookies, PB, bread, grapes and juice boxes. My feeling of dread increases. My husband likes the cars *clean*, he becomes irritated at me if I happen to drop paper in it, much less food. Carson - "I don't want to ride in Sue's truck" (this sets the tone of the day). Donna begins to argue with her. I load the horses. I notice that there are 3 other people I don't know with a horse I don't know and a trailer I've never seen before standing around. Donna is still arguing with Carson. I ask Kay who they are. "New boarders - going to follow us to the show - horse is called Amir". "Why are they just standing there?" "Probably don't know what to do." Kay and I help get Amir loaded. I check on Donna and cringe - she has Carson strapped into my truck with cookies, grapes and juice close at hand. Donna - "get in here, lets go, what are you waiting for?". I trot over and jump in and away we go.

I am leading with the other trailer behind me, the other trailer has someone associated with them following in a car and Kay is behind that. Suddenly the person in the car zooms around me and abruptly pulls onto the very narrow shoulder. I start to slow down but cannot stop the trailer in time not to miss the only entrance to the hiway for miles on the one way access road. "Forget it, just keep going - they'll catch up..." So I get on the hiway. Several miles away is the next exit. We are going very slowly and have not seen anyone in the group - we are the only ones that know the way. No one has anyone elses Cel phone number - although we know there is a phone in each vehicle. We decide to get off. So we get off and turn around and, of course, see them getting off on one side of the hiway as we are getting on going the other way. So I drive back down to the last exit, turn around and come back. When we finally find them pulled off the side of the road, we ask them what was wrong "Oh, nothing". So we continue. We still do not exchange phone numbers.

I notice that Donna is moving stiffly - "What's wrong" - "Oh, I went on a 25 mile endurance ride yesterday. Didn't get home 'til 11:00. I think my rib is broken." - "Oh, well that is a long day...your rib is WHAT"? - "Broken." - "And you think you are going to ride K Sunn in a show with a broken rib?" - "Oh, no, K Sunn went on the 25 miler, too. I wouldn't ask him to show today" - "Then what's he doing in the trailer" - "Oh, probably just standing there" - "Knock it off" - "Sorry, he didn't eat his breakfast this morning and I was worried about him and I didn't want to leave him home since no one will be there today." - "Oh, I see. So I am going to a show with a trainer with a broken rib, 3 green horses, one sick horse and several first time people and one bratty 2 year old?" - "Carson is not a brat." - "Is there anything else I should know?" - "That trailer following you doesn't have lights - that's why someone has to follow them." - "OH oliebol". Carson begins to sing softly to herself "Oh, oliebol, oh, oliebol, oliebol..." Donna thanks me. "Is this really a good idea? - why don't we just turn around" - "wimp" - "fool" - "hussy" - "witch"...

So we get to the show, bring the horses inside and put them in their stalls. I accomplish getting all the stuff in the tack stall, and K Sunn in his stall and the water buckets hung up all with a 2 y.o. on my hip. I impress the hell out of myself sometimes. The 2 y.o. pees on me. I inform Donna her kid needs a clean diaper. Donna informs everyone else that I can do anything she can to help them. We meet 2 of Donna's other students there for a total of 5 green horses and K Sunn. I hear "Sue, I can't get this buckle undone... Sue, everyone else is braided, why isn't my horse braided...Sue, where is my halter - it's the green one...Sue, should I lunge my horse...how long... should I canter...Sue, what saddle should I use..." some of this from people I have never met. Donna takes Carson to the bathroom. I get everyone saddled and out to lunge. I start to braid Amir. I decide that I NEVER want to be a horse trainer, listening to my boss suddenly doesn't seem so bad.

On cue, K Sunn hunched his hind legs under him, wrinkles up his nose and begins to look very uncomfortable. I go find Donna, who is trying to do a french braid with one hand and hold her kid on her hip with the other. We get the show vet and he tells us K Sunn is not colicy, but is probably sore and we get some banimine. I am sure this poor vet, standing there in the midst of all this chaos with horses everywhere, a whining kid and a sick horse (and calls of "Sue, can you help me. Donna, I need you") is thinking - What in the HELL is this horse doing here - or at least that's what I was thinking. "Why don't we blow this place off and take this horse home?" "He's not colicing and the vet says he'll be fine" - "I still think we should leave" - "wimp" - "fool" - "hussy" - "witch"...(Carson, who is in the stage of repeating everything that is said "hussy, witch, hussy..."

Classes are supposed to start at 1:00. Three different people tell me that they cannot canter their horses and want to know if I will take their horses in regular rail classes after they show walk-trot. Also will I get on first and warm up as the horse is spooky. I notice one person lunge in side-reins, bring the horse in and saddle, only taking the side-reins off long enough to unhook them from the cirsengale and hook them to the saddle. The Person then rides in the side-reins and then gets off to talk to some friends with the side-reins still on. The people are not Donna's students. I suck it up and suggest as kindly as I can that now would be a good time to take the side-reins off. They react with fear - what if the horse Spooks? I ask if they were planning to show in the side-reins. They look at me like "of course, doesn't everyone?".

It's 4:30 - classes start. I am exausted. I have ridden 3, braided 2, walked K Sunn and carried Carson around the show. Carson has picked up the habbit of walking up to a horses knees and announcing that she will "ride that horse". Doesn't have to be one of our horses, any horse will do. We are afraid to leave her standing on her own, since she can get away so quickly. We continue to try to have someone holding her all the time.

There are 40 people in a class.
Tempers are short. Everyone wants to stand by the in-gate. Horses are kicked - angry words are exchanged. I am legging someone up when someone else yells "Out of the way - stallion coming!" and this person (no hard hat) riding this crow-hopping stallion tries to plow through everyone and get in the area (it was warm-up). The stud is huffing and rearing and she is yelling "Stallion coming" (which was almost true in all sences of the word "coming"). She takes him right in front of me and then I notice the red ribbon in his tail. He lashes out with both hind feet at the horse I am holding. I don't know the person, but whoever it was asked for a leg. Luckily he doesn't connect. The horse I'm holding decides the crowd is too much. I get lots of angry comments and looks from lots of people. I lead it into the arena and the person on it's back tells me I can let go. She was properly grateful that I didn't let go before. While I am standing there, I am almost run down by another horse. The rein came off the bridle. The rider is trying to stop by grabbing the cheek-piece. I stop the horse and reattach the rein. As I turn to leave the arena, a horse Carrying a small child tries to duck out the gate. I catch that horse and help the child guide it back into the arena. That horse's "trainer" graps it from me, pulls the kid off and proceeds to beat welts onto the horse in front of the gate with 100 other horses in the area trying to warm up. A small, small child gets dumped off a pony in the crush by the in-gate. More angry words are exchanged. Everyone tells everyone else that they shouldn't be by the in-gate. No one moves. I decide I will never attend another horse show again unless it is a dressage show. Everyone is standing by the in-gate talking about everyone else behind everyone's back. Everyone thinks he is the only one with a right to be there. The stud has both draw reins and a martingale on. His rider stops him near the in-gate in this crush of people to talk to someone, after all, this is where everyone is standing. I want to move away, but I don't want to push past the butts of horses I don't know. The stud tries to kick someone else. Good thing he is really just threatening and not trying to connect. His owner thinks it is everyone else's fault - after all, he *has* a red ribbon in his tail.

Classes start. 40 people in a class. It's a QH judge. We have all Arabs. 1st class - 1st-6th - 5 QH and a Morgan. 2nd class 5 QH and a TB. One of Donna's students is in tears, she can't control her horse. I can detect no problem in the horses manners. She wants Donna to ride in the next class. She is so afraid of the horse that I check to see if the saddle is wet before taking Carson and legging Donna up. Horse does fine. Judge tells Donna that horse is beautiful and a nice mover and that it was a beautifully ridden class, but she cannot place the horse. Why? Well, there's just Something about him I don't like. We watch the first 6 classes, no Arabs place. It gets dark outside.

A horse colics (not one of the ones we have with us, but someone who met us there). We decide to leave. I thank God. The word "oliebol" has become a mantra. Ooops - that other trailer has no lights. I go to check on them. They are trying to load the horse, still in his bridle, into a pitch dark 3 horse slant load. He won't go. I suggest a halter. They ask if I have seen their green halter. I go hunt for it. I finally find it in their own tack trunk. I notice the horse already has a halter hanging around his neck. I ask what is wrong with that halter - perhaps it doesn't fit? No, nothing is wrong with it - they just can't get the bridle unbuckled. They only wanted to know where the green halter was. I unbuckle the bridle and get a halter on. I ask someone to shine his headlights into the trailer. The horse loads. I tell them to stay behind me and Kay says she will stay behind them.

We finally get one the road home, it is 9PM. I call my husband and ask him to feed ours and tell him I won't be home for dinner. He is unhappy. I have the trailer with no lights following me and Kay following her. This day has just sucked the big one *out loud*. "I hate you and I will never go to another show except dressage with you for as long as I live" - "Wimp" - "fool" - "hussy" - "witch". Soft echo from the back seat "hussy... witch...hussy..."

Sue and the Buckskins (who are glad they weren't there)
Southlake, Tx
swong@samson.tx.hac.com

PS - K Sunn and the other horse were fine the next day - but I am still never doing that again.


Missouri
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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 26-05-04 08:31

Whahahahaha, hilarious...

At first you laugh, then you remind yourself this actually happened and it doesn't seem so funny anymore Knipoog
I'm glad my shows never go like that! Haha! Tong uitsteken

"Als je doet wat je altijd al deed, krijg je wat je altijd al kreeg." (Tineke Bartels)

Gast546
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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 26-05-04 08:33

Lielle schreef:
- "OH oliebol". Carson begins to sing softly to herself "Oh, oliebol, oh, oliebol, oliebol..." Donna thanks me.

The word "oliebol" has become a mantra.


De Boktcencuur doet het weer goed Haha!
Ik was echt gillend naar huis gereden en had alles daar mooi laten staan

ArwenLune

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 26-05-04 09:09

Inderdaad, ik was waarschijnlijk niet eens meegegaan... was aangekomen, dat mens (noemt ze dat een vriendin??) met die peuter zien staan, en "Mooooi dat je die niet meeneemt!" en linea recta terug naar huis gegaan...

Shows zijn hectisch genoeg zonder dat je een peuter bij je hebt.

"They say the snow on the roof is too heavy; they say the ceiling will cave in. His brains are in terrible danger!"

DubbelDun

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 26-05-04 11:54

Oh dus in NL valt het nog alles mee Haha!

Agossie
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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 26-05-04 12:41

Wat een verhaal!!! Gewèldig!! Ik heb inderdaad meedelijden met Sue, wat die allemaal heeft verzet en stank voor dank krijgen!! Prachtig verhaal!!

"Wrede mensen noemen we beesten, maar we kunnen beter wrede beesten mensen noemen."
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Cassidy

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 26-05-04 14:57

Schitterend het echt in een deuk gelegen. Mensen met bijzetteugels die in een rijklasse willen starten. Doet niet iedereen dat? Lips are sealed

Proest!

Je suis Charlie.

Jokky

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 26-05-04 15:18

Whah *LOL*

-* Nightwish here I come... *-

Jantien

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 26-05-04 16:30

Wat een briljant verhaal, je zal jezelf toch opzadelen met zo'n puinhoop.... Haha! *LOL*

The universe is a big place. But it's okay - you'll grow into it.
-Carl Munson-

Jeddah

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 26-05-04 17:18

Heel erg leuk!! Thanks for posting!

:+: Mijn paardjes :+:
Feel the fear and do it anyway
~Accept the things you cannot change and fight for everything else~

Lielle

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst door de TopicStarter: 26-05-04 19:27

Hij blijft leuk Haha! ik was het topic ook nooit vergeten, en was erg verrast het weer terug te vinden na 8 jaar!

Sily

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 26-05-04 21:04

PPffffff, ik zou toch wel een beetje gillend gek geworden zijn denk ik Haha!

"Mag ik voor ik inslapen moet, mijn baasje nog 1 kusje geven?
Een soort laatste groet, echt, het duurt maar even!"

inka

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 27-05-04 14:05

Het is toch heel normaal om met bijzet teugels en martingaal te rijden voordat je de ring in moet?

PAS OP!!!!! zwanger dus alles wat je zegt kunnen mijn hormonen tegen je gebruiken Lachen

Op zoek naar lp's? Ga dan naar: http://www.blue-rain.nl

Sily

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 27-05-04 17:21

inka schreef:
Het is toch heel normaal om met bijzet teugels en martingaal te rijden voordat je de ring in moet?


Moet je hem idd wel af doen voordat je de ring ingaat Haha!

"Mag ik voor ik inslapen moet, mijn baasje nog 1 kusje geven?
Een soort laatste groet, echt, het duurt maar even!"

orri

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 27-05-04 18:32

Vooral het 'ik ga nooit meer mee naar een show tenzij het een dressuur show is' Tong uitsteken wordt wel 2x herhaald, lol ...

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inka

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 27-05-04 21:13

Sily"]
[quote="inka schreef:
Het is toch heel normaal om met bijzet teugels en martingaal te rijden voordat je de ring in moet?


Moet je hem idd wel af doen voordat je de ring ingaat Haha!
[/quote]

Ach nee joh, dat kan best! *LOL*

PAS OP!!!!! zwanger dus alles wat je zegt kunnen mijn hormonen tegen je gebruiken Lachen

Op zoek naar lp's? Ga dan naar: http://www.blue-rain.nl

ArwenLune

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 27-05-04 21:36

...als ze maar bij je setje passen, toch?

"They say the snow on the roof is too heavy; they say the ceiling will cave in. His brains are in terrible danger!"

Sily

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 27-05-04 21:47

ArwenLune schreef:
...als ze maar bij je setje passen, toch?


Whaaaaaaaaa *LOL* Haha! Haha! *krupt onder haar stoel vandaan Tong uitsteken *

"Mag ik voor ik inslapen moet, mijn baasje nog 1 kusje geven?
Een soort laatste groet, echt, het duurt maar even!"

Apple
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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 27-05-04 23:21

Geweldig verhaal Haha!.

Kevin: drs L1+9, spr B+2, SGW B+3, Endurance 197 ggk km's (eindstand), Kevin in Uddel
Daisy: drs L2+6, spr B+1, SGW B+1 Rondje door de Bollenstreek

inka

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 28-05-04 10:25

ArwenLune schreef:
...als ze maar bij je setje passen, toch?


nou precies !! Als je geen setje hebt moet je ook niet naar zo'n wedstrijd gaan dat is not done.

PAS OP!!!!! zwanger dus alles wat je zegt kunnen mijn hormonen tegen je gebruiken Lachen

Op zoek naar lp's? Ga dan naar: http://www.blue-rain.nl

Heike
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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 29-05-04 13:32

Zo zeg, zal ze die nacht nog rustig hebben kunnen slapen?

Paardentweet: Zag laatst een meisje onderweg naar haar paard met kogelvrijvest aan.
Dat paardrijden is ook niet meer wat het geweest is...
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gomir

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 30-05-04 21:55

Ik had van de week geen tijd om het helemaal te lezen, maar ik lig nu zowat onder mijn bureaustoel...*LOL*

Je zal het toch meemaken Clown

*Niet elke verandering is een verslechtering!*
*Ze is niet bang voor de dood, maar als de dood om bang te zijn...(Guido Weijers-Oxymoron)*
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Lielle

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst door de TopicStarter: 31-05-04 08:33

orri schreef:
Vooral het 'ik ga nooit meer mee naar een show tenzij het een dressuur show is' Tong uitsteken wordt wel 2x herhaald, lol ...

volgens mijn zou dar in Nederland zijn:
'ik ga nooit meer mee naar een show tenzij het een springshow is' Tong uitsteken

JoT

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst: 31-05-04 20:45

Wat goed geschreven is dit! Toen ik die lap tekst zag dacht ik eerst 'laat maar', maar toen ik begon met lezen kon in niet meer ophouden. Wat een feeks is die Donna zeg en die leerlingen van haar dan! Ik heb grote bewondering voor Sue dat ze zo rustig is gebleven, ik was waarschijnlijk zelf een ietsjes minder rustig en lief gebleven...

7 augustus 2012: Rust zacht lieve Macho. Je hebt me zoveel gegeven, ik zal je nooit vergeten.

Lielle

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Link naar dit bericht Geplaatst door de TopicStarter: 31-05-04 20:58

Lielle"]
[quote="orri schreef:
Vooral het 'ik ga nooit meer mee naar een show tenzij het een dressuur show is' Tong uitsteken wordt wel 2x herhaald, lol ...

volgens mijn zou dar in Nederland zijn:
'ik ga nooit meer mee naar een show tenzij het een springshow is' Tong uitsteken
[/quote]
blunderbloopers Bloos
volgens mij is dat Knipoog


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